Wait, you don't find her adorable and capable? I better find something nice to say, -- wow -- it's an hour later and I can't finish the post.

Okay, Hillary's pantsuit is very smart. But only a monster would want this lady to answer the phone at 3 AM. Unless the caller was an even scarier monster. Hard to imagine. The mind reels.

I love the lipstick smeared on the teeth. You'll see Mary Kate, Britney and Lindsey Lohan running around with this exact look in a few days. Hmmm...

So I'm biased. Those Clintonian lipstick teeth are just a personal favorite "campaign trail" trend of mine -- you may leave your own favorites in the comments.

But back to the hood....I take it one issue at a time. For example tonight someone said, "McCain is beating them both! Who will pay for the war?" Mr. Rogers could beat either of them and he's been dead since before the Iraq war began.

Knowing my audience, I said, "China is paying, we're paying interest. I don't love McCain, but what's the big difference between John McCain and Obama?" Then I changed into my "inside the house" sweater. And changed my shoes.

Again I got, "but who's paying for this war?"

So I asked, "what are Obama's plans for that?" Yes, I used my inside voice.

{crickets}

then...

{children and grand children of crickets emerged}

Full disclosure: I really don't love McCain, also don't love Obama. Either way and I'm fine. Anyone but a Clinton and I'm happy as a clam in a smart pantsuit. Though if I had Hillary's money, I'd buy some cool pantsuits, something with style. Perhaps something that would hide my cankles. You know, to be fair.

As I walked out of a certain local establishment, someone was complaining about the price of gas. Had to turn around and say -- I can't wait until people see gas for $5 a gallon and think, "why so cheap?".

I left it at that. There's no way I can compensate for other's stupidity. Surely the magic trolley came around to help deliver them to reality.

When gas is 6 bucks a gallon, people in Los Angeles will realize they can find a job nearby, or walk two blocks to the restaurant for dinner, which already (as in, now) costs 20 bucks more because all our grain fields are being converted to corn deemed for ethanol. Useless to us. Trust me -- I used to be a scientist.

I don't give a shit about "Mother Gaia" but I walk all the fucking time. Obviously there is something wrong with me. I own two cars. One a sweet 1980's era six cylinder Porsche gas guzzler and gross polluter. She'd love to be driven more...and I'd love to drive her more. But it's easier to walk living in a city.

With higher gas prices we can expect -- well, life will change. We will drill in North Dakota and Ala$ka, happily. Liberals will forget about all the bunnies, drowning polar bears (who remarkably, are excellent swimmers) and whatever animal is on the PETA and the Sierra Club's hot list. Folks will drive less, and we will be able to afford to buy food again. Gas for cars, and nuclear power for our homes. Trust me, I'm the grand-daughter of a coal miner.

Mark my words. 5 year guarantee on that -- no payout, just me being smug. If we don't go back to our roots, we'll be paying 5 bucks per hothouse tomato. In two years.

Hard to believe someone else thought killing babies for a senior art project would "spark conversation and debate on the relationship between art and the human body". That was MY senior art project as well.

Here is some of the art and discourse of abortion:

Don't forget, if you are in the area, and want to stand under a saran-wrapped cube with blood and vaseline, while seeing photos of the "herbal" abortions in progress -- the exhibition will be on public display from April 22 to May 1.

Don't miss out on this once in a lifetime opportunity!

UPDATE:

Statement by Helaine S. Klasky — Yale University, Spokesperson

Had these acts been real, they would have violated basic ethical standards and raised serious mental and physical health concerns.

So there are NO mental health concerns? Really?
I think many suspected this was a prank, but at what cost...if I were miss Bloody Shvarts, I'd be looking for a doctor and a new major.

As Drudge points out, back in 1999 she was all about taking away our right to bear arms, or in lib-speak, "control" the right to bear arms.

I had to ask -- where is the proof that Hillary has ever shot a weapon -- other than her mouth?

After much research, I found some photographic evidence. It's after the jump.

So let's just pretend Steve is Austin, and I'm Glenn. Difference is, I've read Steve's post and I'm actually going to write something about Eretz Israel.

Heh.

Okay, you got me, I'm still sick and was outright lying.

Instead, I'm just going to say, read the whole thing. And then suggest you give generously to a vetted pro-Israel charity. Steve has some listed on his site, I believe.

Indeed.

They tell you the specific weaknesses and basically give you the gameplan. All you need is Obama bin Ladin's nod, and some genes (or misguided religious zealotry) more evil than the media's.

My favorite excerpt:

"If a terrorist were to harm the city, in a place like Boise they could try to do some flood damage," he said. "If the city is very vulnerable to wildfires, then one match is lit and you're all set."

San Francisco and Los Angeles got low ratings despite their frequent wildfires and earthquakes because they've grown adept at handling disasters, Piegorsch said.

Go knock yourselves out. Those of us who care, are all on low carb diets anyway. I won't miss the potatoes.

Proof that stuff you donate to Goodwill goes to those desperate and in need.

It helps with my ADD-riddled circus of a brain. As a bonus, I fell into a dance class that I adore.

Those of you who are newer to my blog might not know, but I studied classical ballet for over 20 years, and was honored to be taught by some beloved and famous dancers such as Madam Danilova, at the School of American Ballet. Dance was my life until I turned 22, so it's really monumental to get back to it, in some shape or form. Both lacking, in me, personally.

I'm too old and impatient to get fully back to ballet (and the discipline of ballet) that probably saved my early life from ADD disaster.

So now it's a jazz class with lots of ballet and some hip hop kind of stuff thrown in for good measure.

I'm lost on days without class. And my teacher actually teaches.

Shocking to some, right? One might think a teacher would teach, but au contraire.

With most gyms, dance classes are taught by morons. You are shit out of luck. Usually it's a 400 lb woman who couldn't touch her toes if you offered her a million bucks, yelling at you to tango. Or some dude who is only "teaching" so he can get paid to work out in spandex every day.

Most have little to no formal training, and do nothing about warming up muscles, teaching technique, and dance. So I'm LUCKY.

Sadly, my much loved dance class takes place at a gym, where hundreds of people sweat every single day. And men pinch the squid to Hillsy in the locker room (or maybe Bill, this is Hollywood), then sweat and wipe their nose, ass, then touch the door handles and equipment (other than their own).

Yes, I take great precautions, using the provided hand sanitizer (warning sign!!!! WHY do we NEED that), and immediately washing my gym clothes upon re-entering the Moxtopia Compound, yet somehow I am still stuck with some wimpy but fiercely persistent cold and sore throat.

Something tells me I was better off when I avoided interacting with other people, no matter the cost.

PS: Can someone just give the "interloper" a fucking medal already? An Academy Award, a Nobel Peace prize. I kept that story open in my browser all all day because it made me giggle every time I "accidentally" read it again.

I'll steal from Steve H. and add on, he was pinching the squid fantastic. But the squid loves the carpet.

But I'm back and hope you will join me.

Let's ease into things, here is Puff Tatty abusing a Hillary Clinton canklesaurus hex doll:

So, even though my blog software is still broken thanks to the server move, and some of your comments have been lost (and may still be lost in the future) -- MoxVox, the radio show ONLY on NowLive will be back.

March 30th, Sunday at 5 PM Pacific/ 8 PM Eastern.

Be prepared to talk about the world's new messiah, and his miracles. We will need callers with examples! Think Bill Brasky and Chuck Norris....okay?

We will also play the "Which is Crazier" game. A game you'd have to be the messiah to win!

xox,
mox

Yes, I've asked for help. And they did something, and now I can do some things but approving comments requires me to go through 2 screens and other wasteful steps I could avoid if MT worked properly.

ON another note, I've been horribly busy working.

For my liberal friends, no -- not horrible BECAUSE I'm working -- horrible, meaning I don't have a lot of time to talk on the phone, chat, hang out on NowLive or respond to emails.

But it's wonderful kind of work...delightful, for you and especially me. More soon...

In case you were wondering, YES.

I want President Bush to spend every last penny he can before leaving office.

That way President Hussein or President Juan McCain can't spend on stupid programs giving entitlements to crack whores, unemployed baby factories and people who are too lazy or too drunk to work.

Spend GWB, SPEND bro!

Back soon.

I'll wear a tiny dress and fight the scrappy fight.

See me on cam, and join the chat (as long as you have signed up on NowLive.com)

We're playing a fun new game....last week it was "Which is Larger", two weeks before it was "Hitler or Hillary" and I'm certain you will love this week's game.

Tune in, MoxVox ONLY on NowLive.com, 5 PM Pacific, 8PM Eastern. Today, Sunday.

And distaste for the Clintons is VERY en vogue this winter. Dress accordingly.

Had to run to the Rite-aid. Outside a nice guy offered to wash the go-cart's windows. They were dirty so I thought I'd help him out.

Moxie: How much is this going to set me back?

Him: Whatever you are willing to spare. A few pennies, a handful of change...

Moxie: Go for it.

Him: You know what they say about women with glasses?

Moxie: No, but I have an idea.

Him: They are really superheros.

Moxie: Oh did I forget to mention that I'm a superhero?

Him: With this car, I don't doubt it lady.
But you can see my boyish mentality. Anything special is equated to superheros or cartoons.

Moxie: It seems to be common among men.

Him: It sure is!

Moxie: You know what's making me chuckle even more than this conversation?

Him: What?

Moxie: That your spray bottle is imprinted with the words "DO NOT DRINK"
Someone somewhere got paid to insist upon that as a safety measure. Our government spends unimaginable amounts of money to protect the stupid.

Him: I say, if they are dumb enough to drink ammonia from a spray bottle, they deserve the consequences.

Moxie: Sure, survival of the fittest. Or maybe they just feel dirty inside.

Him: You are an interesting woman.

Moxie: I'm glad you think so.

I gave him 5 bucks. Best conversation I've had all day. And my car windows are sparkling.

Be there or be square.

I have loads of work to do, so PLEASE no instant messages just saying hi, phone calls, emails asking for help or whatever. I have zero time for it.

It's not because I don't love you guys. I'm working so hard because I love you guys so much.

Back for Sunday's MoxVox. And I apologize for being so cranky. You will understand soon.

And go sign up at NowLive already, will you?!