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September 7, 2002

undercover

undercover

I got a hot tip on a story so last night I had to go work undercover at a chrome plating factory. It was third shift and I was tired but if there is a story I'm on it.

The guys treated me like one of their own. We had chrome flasks hanging from our toolbelts and we'd take a few swigs of whiskey everytime the shift supervisor went to page his girlfriend. The shift supervisor is married, but that's not the story. The fact that I chrome plated some 20,000 little silver ring things for an auto manufacturer, the most productive I've been all year, isn't even the story. The fact that I had to drink Jack Daniels sans the coke -- well that's a story but not one I'm ready to talk about just now.

Being undercover isn't easy, I had to do a lot of research on the plating process beforehand.
On my faux resume I listed over 10 years experience at another factory located in Des Moines. The shift supervisor was a little suspicious when the glue on my moustache started coming undone so I told him I had just shaved it off and really regretted it. He told me not to worry that he too had reluctantly shaved his beard to please his girlfriend and that it had upset his wife. But faking a beard is a lot harder than a little 'stache.

So it was about 115 degrees in the factory. Since I was new I got to chrome plate the little ring things (you can see my handiwork in the top picture) apparently the guys all fight over the chrome exhaust pipes and bigger things. The editor over at The Chrome Plating Monthly is hounding me for the expose already. It's hard work those guys do so I'm going to have to take a long nap and a few asprin before writing up my story.

Oh maybe I should try to get rid of my chrome plated fingernails first. I can assure you that it was an accident. Well maybe not so much an accident as a cruel and painful hazing ritual at the factory. But damn, the shine on my nails puts Revlon to shame.

Posted by Moxie at September 7, 2002 4:09 PM |Stumble It! | | del.icio.us