« sports commentary for those who care | by someone who doesn't watch sports | Main | homeland litterbox security »

September 25, 2002

the bachelor or that’s the prize???

It’s common knowledge that network executives are not particularly apt at choosing well executed concepts that will appeal to their target audiences – proof being some of the lousy shows premiering this week. Sadly, these same executives are no better at choosing a man than they are a pilot to produce.

I wasn’t delighted to see that the executive producers had eliminated all the wonderful single men in America who applied and settled on 5 of the most ridiculous boys I’ve ever seen. Yes, you read that right, they eliminated the men for the boys.

Arrogant, bland, hick, immature, promiscuous, jock-ish, goofy…you name it and it most likely fits at least one of the finalists highlighted on Wednesday’s show. What makes the executive producers think any of these men could capture the heart of 25 women let alone the more discriminating group, the teevee audience? They claimed they toiled over the choice and I can see why – they had already eliminated all the good candidates.

Being a picky woman myself, I would never agree to participate in a game show that would require me to compete against 24 women for *one* man I’ve never seen. I’ve been looking a long time and have yet to find even one who was worth a good cat fight or two. The odds of that one man being appealing are staggeringly low. Disappointing in the same way it would be to go to the grocery store and find only one brand of toilet paper.

So this 28 year old trust fund baby is the prize. It’s rare that a man aged 28 is ready for a steady girlfriend let alone marriage. Scoff all you want, but I speak from personal experience. I wouldn't want this 28 year old taking care of my infant's or my needs anymore than I'd want the florist working on my car. And you know how I am about my car.

Just after ABC definitively answered our questions about Alex Michel’s ambiguous sexuality in the lame “where are they now” interview (though I note HE didn’t say he wasn’t gay, Amanda did) Marc Weisblott said it best, “This new guy is even gayer than the last one. But more football player-ish, and kind of mormon-esque.”

It’s difficult to imagine wading through the long screening process, being selected only to find this neck, I mean guy. Without a second thought I’d run out of the Malibu mansion screaming and hope I could hail a cab to get back home where I belong. If this is the best an exhaustive search of America has to offer, I’m better off single. According to a fiesty 113 year old woman in Florida, who attributes her longevity to the fact that she "was never married and never had to worry about the headache of men," I’m headed for one damn long life.

But I never wanted to live quite that long. Hey, on that note if you are handsome, age 31-36, California dwelling, single, intelligent, funny and stable (do I look for the impossible or what?) -- email me your picture and dossier. If I get enough responses I’ll do my own version of The Bachelor(ette). All this talk reminds me that the Mox needs a boyfriend. Oh hell, I just need a date.

Posted by Moxie at September 25, 2002 11:42 PM |Stumble It! | | del.icio.us