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December 31, 2004
libzillas
Some of you might be wondering what a Libzilla is...technically, it's from the genus/species of libertine parentis, commonly found in Los Angeles.
More generally, it's a self-absorbed liberal Hollywood parent who failed to make it to the abortion clinic in the days before their due date. Faced with raising that "clump of cells" that managed to escape their uterus -- Libzillas don't do much in the way of parenting.
Their offspring, interestingly enough are call Liblets, not to be confused with giblets, or libshits.
The lucky liblets are shipped off to boarding school or raised by little brown nannies -- the delusional libzillas refer to the illegals as Au Pairs around their fancy Hollywood friends. The unlucky libkids go to public school and are forgotten.
Some of you may encounter wild Liblets and their Libzilla pseudo parental units. Jesus spoke to me in a dream last night and therefore I feel obligated to provide you with some guidance.
As I trust you are all regular readers and aware of the liberal set's tendency to worship the large American fatumentary-maker Michael Moore, we can safely skip that. It's also safe to skip mentioning the complete absence of logic and reason in Libzilla DNA.
There is something here in the Moxtopia compound that we call the 1 in 10 rule.
1 in 10 Liblets can speak something resembling proper English.
1 in 10 Liblets can spell. Sorta.
1 in 10 Liblets bathe regularly.
1 in 10 Liblets can identify their their parents.
1 in 10 Liblets call said parents Mom and fourth-step-Dad.
1 in 10 Liblets can do that funky new math.
There is also a 10 in 10 rule:
10 out of 10 liblets think it's better to test things out on PEOPLE rather than animals.
10 out of 10 liblets hate America (pledge of allegiance is bad, they wish death on our troops and think democracy is evil). And yet they can't walk and chew gum at the same time. Nor spell democracy.
10 out of 10 liblets think George W. Bush is satan, even though they aren't old enough to wipe their own asses, or figure out that the evil man offering candy wants to molest them.
Interestingly 10 out of 10 Liblets can identify gold-digging trophy-husband John Kerry as the messiah for the godless left. You may remember the website of a feral child born of a leftover 60's hippie. She's not alone.
Anyway around dinnertime I found a Liblet digging through my trash can. He felt entitled to a free meal, since his Mommy and Daddy were off working at the studios on the next big J Lo movie (heh). And his little brown "Au Pair" had to go home and take care of her own brood.
Obviously, I threw rocks at the liblet, only because I had had too much Cristal and couldn't muster the saliva to spit on him.
Maybe I really am pro-choice. Isn't it better these kids be aborted than subjected to the lifestyle of the Libzilla parent?
Posted by Moxie at December 31, 2004 2:33 AM
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Comments
Great work again mox. I checked out the site. Kids for Kerry. If that kid's parents are paying for him to attend a private school, They should demand their money back. It also gives a great example of what a liblet is. These people are fucked.
Posted by: Jack Hamilton at December 31, 2004 5:27 AM
Whatever happened to the cute girl with the nice ass and the funky first name? And why is it that the most strident anti-liberals tend to be blong single women who apparently use some form of birth control?
Posted by: bjr@yahoo.com at December 31, 2004 6:33 AM
Even tongue in cheek, Mox, that post was pretty lame.
You're reminding me more of Ann Coulter every day; go back to posting sensible articles lest reason elude you entirely!
Posted by: Fil at December 31, 2004 8:15 AM
bjr. learn to spell. you just proved moxie's point.
mandated abortions for liberals? i'm all for it.
Posted by: mlah at December 31, 2004 8:16 AM
Believe me, the libzillas are not just in Los Angeles. There are lots of them on the East coast as well. I believe, in fact, that they are the target audience of "New York Magazine." (www.newyorkmag.com) A few months ago, this magazine did a story about New York women who are obssessed with staying thin during their pregnancies. Their rationale is that they waited until this long to have the baby, they're successful, they go to the gym five days a week, and they don't want the baby to change their lives, blah, blah, blah.
Also, my two older sisters, whom I love dearly, have some libzilla tendencies, as they voted for Kerry on account of the abortion issue. And these are women who send their daughters to yeshivas (Jewish parochial schools). My oldest sister is afraid that Bush will appoint pro-life Supreme Court justices. So when I asked "how about keeping one's legs closed" they all got very mad at me.
Oy!
Posted by: Zelda at December 31, 2004 10:37 AM
I want to lick Teresa Heinz Kerry's armpit.
Posted by: bjr at December 31, 2004 1:32 PM
Mox, thankfully I'm in a profession that has little contact with liblets or their parents. I doubt any could survive one day of the duty my soldiers are pulling everyday in Iraq. Plus the concept of "selfless service" just would not compute. Its a couple of hours into 2005, we are working with the Iraqi people to make their first elections a success on 30 Jan. I appreciate the smiles you brought me in 2004 since i spent the past 12 months in Iraq, and wish you the best. Jeff Goldstein, intstaman, powerline, and others are a great source of encouragement for many of us serving in Iraq. thanks.
Posted by: bill at December 31, 2004 2:47 PM
Fil is wrong. You are not an Anne Coulter wanna be with your derivative faux-venom. More like her friend the dead blond one who died in the plane crash, and was married to the poc faced solicitor general. Can't remember her name.
Posted by: anonymous at January 1, 2005 1:24 PM
"More like her friend the dead blond one who died in the plane crash"
Okay, so maybe Paul Wellstone was a girl, but he sure as hell wasn't "blonde"!
Posted by: Trapeze at January 1, 2005 2:17 PM
I miss you when you're away!
I must say that up until recently, I knew of very few kids (teenagers) who weren't raging liberals (although they know little of which they speak), even when spawned of conservative parentals. It has done my heart good to see those kids from Protest Warrior take them on these past few months.
All hope is not lost. Even liblets can grow up and find their way.
Posted by: jmflynny at January 1, 2005 6:49 PM
"Isn't it better these kids be aborted than subjected to the livestyle of the Libzilla parent?"
Abortion stops a bleeding heart . . .
Posted by: Matt at January 2, 2005 12:36 AM
Bill,
Thank you and your comrades for fighting for the rest of us back home. I hope and pray that you guys stay safe while accomplishing your mission.
..................................................
Fil,
I think entertainment was Mox's objective there. If you want sensibility, watch Wes Anderson comedies(I never laughed during The Royal Tenenbaums).
..................................................
Anonymous(King of Schlongo),
Comparing Moxie to Barbara Olsen? That's nice. You're pissing on a 9/11 victim's grave just because she happened to be a Republican. Oh how I envy the Left's monopoly on tolerance and love!
This reminds me of the time that Michael Moore declared it open season on Republicans to the terrorists.........
["Many families have been devastated tonight. This just is not right. They did not deserve to die. If someone did this to get back at Bush, then they did so by killing thousands of people who DID NOT VOTE for him! Boston, New York, DC, and the planes' destination of California--these were places that voted AGAINST Bush!" --Michael Moore, Michaelmoore.com, September 12]
Posted by: reagan80 at January 2, 2005 9:08 PM
you dumb ass. i was referring to her tits. you have no idea my political bent. i just loathe reactionary idiots like yourself, left or right, that resort to ad hominem (get a dictionary) attacks because they are too ignorant to articulate a cohesive argument in support of their position, and instead regurgitate crap that bingo for bonzo ronnie reagan (or what ever his b rate chimp movie was called before he meandered aimlessly through the white house, suffering from alzheimers - now THATS funny - right or left - he had FUCKING ALZHEIMER's and was president) or michael moore's silly propaganda.
anyone that disagrees with your position is a terrorist (or anti-individual rights, if you're on the left?) You punk. Go back to the playground and try to bully someone. I bet you're a closet abortion supporter.
Hey Mox, nice tits.
Posted by: anonymous at January 3, 2005 9:04 PM
PS nancy boy,
cutting and pasting from a libertarian web site does not count as formulating an argument.
Posted by: anonymous at January 3, 2005 9:15 PM
King Bongzilla, if this website goes over your head -- please refrain from commenting on my rack in a vain attempt to appear perspicacious.
Thank you.
Posted by: Moxie
at January 3, 2005 9:45 PM
Schlongo,
"and instead regurgitate crap that bingo for bonzo ronnie reagan (or what ever his b rate chimp movie was called before he meandered aimlessly through the white house, suffering from alzheimers - now THATS funny - right or left - he had FUCKING ALZHEIMER's and was president) or michael moore's silly propaganda."
If you're a moderate, then I'm Chelsea Clinton. Michael Moore gets a benign love tap from you while Reagan gets the cruel "LOL, he's got a disease eating his brain!" treatment. Your liberal bias is obvious. I'm not going to take the flamebait and make another screed defending my idol's legacy. The legacy of the B movie actor-turned-president will always be greater than the liberal, peanut-farming nuclear physicist's before him.
"I bet you're a closet abortion supporter."
No.
"anyone that disagrees with your position is a terrorist"
No, I usually consider them misguided fools whose proposed policies(cures) are probably worse than the problem they're meant to alleviate.
"cutting and pasting from a libertarian web site does not count as formulating an argument"
I'm sooo sorry. I thought the link concisely made my argument for me without having to make another long winded post paraphrasing everything it contained and taking up more server space here.
Posted by: reagan80 at January 4, 2005 10:54 AM
your mom's calling you downstairs for dinner.
Posted by: anonymous at January 4, 2005 12:31 PM
The "hot blonde" was Barbara Olsen. Now go fuck yourself.
Posted by: perfectd at January 6, 2005 8:59 PM




