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February 20, 2005

Stop calling my gay houseboy, please

I'm spending the long weekend down in the OC, with my peeps. This is where all the SoCal Republicans live and I must tell you, it's glorious to be around rational people. After shopping at South Coast Plaza yesterday I made an observation -- I had not seen a single John Kerry bumper sticker, not one anti-American sign or slogan. Instead I've seen countless magnetic "Support our Troops" ribbons.

From my smoking balcony, I can see other homes and more than three of them have American flags displayed. It feels like another country when contrasted to the Libzilla insanity of Lost Angeles.

But that's not what this post is about.

I got a frantic call from the compound this morning.

You see, a few months ago Andrew, my gay houseboy and I were at the Mondrian hotel and bumped into Paris Hilton. We must have charmed her because she programmed Andrew's name and phone number into her cell phone. She promised to call us for cocktails some time.

Paris Hilton never called, but every other idiot in the world HAS.
Thousands of phone calls, literally. Text messages. Tabloids asking for dirt on Paris. Horny young men wanting to know how to meet Paris.

I know more than a few people had wood over seeing Anna Kournikova's digits in her T-mobile address book, but please folks. There are a lot of people (i.e., my gay houseboy) who are about to have a stroke.

And now, back to my vacation....

Posted by Moxie at February 20, 2005 3:16 PM |icon_su.gifStumble It! |85x10-digg-link.gif | del.icio.us

Comments

this is a dumb question but what's a magnetic ribbon?. . . is it a magnet with a picture of a ribbon on it?. . .

Posted by: bloopy at February 20, 2005 3:36 PM

Um..could I just have Anna's number?

Posted by: JD at February 20, 2005 3:59 PM

You and Paris can make a movie together.

Posted by: bongthegong at February 20, 2005 4:47 PM

Oh, yeah, that'll happen.

Posted by: JD at February 20, 2005 5:39 PM

It is a large cut out representing a ribbon with a magnet on the back that you put on your car. Much less permament and damaging than a bumper sticker. Most I've seen are supporting the troops overseas, but other ones are starting to pop up.

Posted by: Gahrie at February 20, 2005 7:27 PM

I found it funny that the star quoted was pissed at Paris instead of the hacker.

Posted by: closed-minded conservative at February 20, 2005 8:14 PM

Horny BOYS wanting to meet Paris, more like. The MEN want to meet Mox.

Posted by: JD at February 21, 2005 6:24 AM

Moxie is HOT, no doubt.
Beauty, personality, brains amd an un-PCness that warms my cold conservative heart.
What`s not to like?

Paris Hilton. Skinny, junkie, drunk Ho with no personality to call her own.
What`s to like?

P.S.
Am I the only one who thinks Paris`s non ass is weird?
The same crew that spelunked Michael Moores ass had to cancle the expedition up Paris`s. They couldn`t find it.

Posted by: Joatmoaf at February 21, 2005 7:28 AM

I dunno - I think Moxie forgot where she came from. Putting "the" in front of "OC"? Tsk, tsk. :) Like I keep telling people up here in the Bay Area, "the" goes in front of freeway numbers, not county names.

Posted by: Tony from OC at February 21, 2005 8:41 AM

ahhh, that makes a lot of sense - thanks gahrie. . . speaking of magnets, back in the floppy days, the more i started using computers, the more paranoid i got of 'em 'til nowadays i really dislike having 'em around. . .

the other day on the street some people were handing out magnets for a promotion. . . i gave mine back once i realized what it was but before doing so i noticed it was for some computer-related product and thought, "these guys don't know their demographic". . .

Posted by: bloopy at February 21, 2005 1:39 PM

Our daughter lives in "the OC," and I'm tellin' ya it's the best. Not only is it (relatively) moonbat-free, but the people are pleasant and quite friendly.

As contrasted to San Francisco, where I won't even set foot or spend a dime if I can help it. The air is heavy with leftist self-satisfaction and contempt for all who aren't as enlightened as wonderful them. You can cut the venom with a knife.

Posted by: Liz at February 21, 2005 4:01 PM

Liz,

I agree with you completely. Sure, I've been to OC before. But I can't say enough nice things about it at this moment -- this moment being a few hours after my return to Hollyweird.

Having also lived in San Francisco for five years, everything you say rings true to me. The stench of liberalism there is overwhelming.

Posted by: Moxie at February 21, 2005 4:25 PM

1) Tell Please I said hi.

2) I live next door to one of "The OC's" writers. Gotta ask what's the deal with the "The".

Posted by: Aaron's Rantblog at February 21, 2005 9:50 PM

Today I saw a hybrid with a W'04 sticker.

I am very confused.

Posted by: kevin [TypeKey Profile Page] at February 21, 2005 11:27 PM

Hey, there's nothing actually WRONG with hybrids. They're just expensive to buy (but oh the gas mileage) and most of them are slow. I'll take a faster car (it doesn't even need to be fast, I'd just like highway speed in less than 30 seconds, thanks) any day.

The stupid people are the moonbats who want to make people use them.

Posted by: Patrick at February 22, 2005 8:37 AM

The secret about hybrids??? Okay, I'll tell.

There are not 3 but FOUR fat rodents running around a wheel. That's what makes them go.

Someday PETA will find out and slaughter all the environmentalists. And place the rodents on the endangered species list.

I wonder, what's the best way to deep fry an endangered species?

Posted by: Moxie at February 22, 2005 8:52 AM

In fat. Preferably bacon grease, as much as possible.
Just ask Steve.

Posted by: Patrick at February 22, 2005 8:59 AM

Having also lived in San Francisco for five years, everything you say rings true to me.

I've lived in San Francisco for eleven years now. While there are still many things I like about this place, and I'm probably going to be here for the next few years at least, the climate has been getting to me more and more lately. And I don't just mean the cold foggy summers. It becomes pretty exhausting having to either get in arguments or bite your tongue everywhere you go.

So after the couple more years that it's going to take me to scrape a pile together, it might be time to seek out warmer and redder climes. I can't bear OC traffic, and Monterey & San Luis Obispo have all the high real estate prices of the Bay Area without the corresponding high salaries. Perhaps San Diego or Sacramento might do the trick.

Posted by: Alex at February 22, 2005 1:57 PM

"Someday PETA will find out and slaughter all the environmentalists. And place the rodents on the endangered species list."

You're not far from the truth. If the environmentalists had allowed cutting down trees to make firebreaks, the 2003 wild fires would have been easy to stop and many homes and wildlife would have been saved and many of the current mudslides prevented.

If we had environmentalist hunting licenses we might actually improve the environment for real.

At least the smell.

Posted by: Aaron's Rantblog at February 22, 2005 10:38 PM

Are you implying that non-republicans are exclusively anti-American? And isn't it possible to support the troops but still accurately see W as the complete idiot that he is?

Posted by: Anthony at February 24, 2005 10:41 AM

i found Lindsay Lohan's e-mail addy in Paris Hilton's book, so i emailed her. i even got a response, although not from her. It was from some dude named Mailer Daemon. Silly name, i wonder if he's any relation to Matt Daemon. Anyway, i couldn't make heads nor tails of what he was trying to say.

Posted by: annika at February 25, 2005 12:45 AM