i haven't had to sit in on a meeting and, in mid-sentence, have the massive scab on my lip (leftover from getting a beatdown in a mugging) fall off into my mouth, thus necessitating the decision of whether to continue talking with this hunk of congealed blood wandering around my mouth, swallow the beef-jerky-esque material, or pause to spit it out into my hand 'cuz i didn't have a tissue paper handy. . .

or, no, wait, that *did* happen to me. . . my bad. . .

oh bloopy. you have no idea how much i adore you!!

"Pamela's Vlogs..." is Pamela that kind of scary-looking New York lady who poses "thumbs-up!" with all the big bloggers?

I have not yet awakened from an all-night bender next to Hillary Clinton. Nor Bill. Nor Monica.

Yes, Cathy, she was referring to the shrugging yankee exhibitionist.

LOL Cathy...

Just when I had almost lost all hope.

As of right now this moment I haven't taken a ball peen hammer to my husband OR the new bamboo hardwood floor that's not getting laid tonight either.

Cathy, yes, right on "thah moneighhhh baybeee." Voices like hers were the reason i fled NYC.

Sondra, your husband just emailed, asking for amnesty.

And also I am reminded I need to lay a few links your way someday soon. Hope you server is prepared for the mad rush of 5-6 readers!

Oh Moxie, you crack me up! Is that like irony or something???

I love it when women disguise their compliments towards me with a huge dose of farkakteh. It's not quite as flattering as when men talk about boinking my boobies, mind you.

Mazel tov, Moxie! YEAHHH BAAYYYYBEEEEE!

Well, hell. I was going to comment, but it looks like Juggs just said it all.

Mox, only send those adept at bamboo floor installation. I'll trade you back one really good husband. You'll like him, he works hard and is real cute. It's his measuring skills that suck but what guy's doesn't?

Midgets out yer butt!
the imagery....
where's my meds.

Cynthia McKinney hasn't yet turned up at my doorstep with triplets that she claims are my love-children.

(I mean, yes, I was drunk that night, but really, now!)

You have never betrayed me -- have you?

I still have my chompers! Yeah, big deal. Well..it reminded me of an old job foreman of mine that would take his awesome dentures out his mouth ( after eating his garden tomato and mini-pecan pie thing), and lick them clean. Most times , he would turn his back to you or go behind the pick-up truck, but sometimes I guess he had a lot on his mind, and would go to work on them right there in plain view. It was brutal, so I floss.

I have not yet had my eyes poked out by a red-hot poker. Then again, that lack of eye-poking allowed me to see the Al Gore-Tipper face suck during the 2000 Democrat convention, so it's a mixed blessing at best.

although it frequently feels like it, I haven't yet had my head explode while reading the utter dreck that flows out of Liberal minds. Well, ok, whatever they use in place of minds.
I also haven't gone insane while wondering why my wife STILL hasn't gotten the tax stuff together for last years taxes ... 4 months late and still counting. No wait ... maybe I AM insane?