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August 17, 2007
sad days
It's been a sad few days. I went on vacation for a short while, out to Palm Springs where 108 F in dry heat feels like a full body massage. But I couldn't enjoy it because Bentley was sick. And I prepaid, so no backing out.
God has given me a very limited number of true friends, but many, many sociopathic so-called pals.
So I asked all three true friends to help with the situation and I tried unsuccessfully not to worry about the kitty who has been my buddy since college.
Before I got back I heard from two of them that Bentley wasn't sick anymore! That he looked great! Huh?
Obviously, I was skeptical and expected to find Bentley wrapped in a trash bag on the back doorstep with a stalker's manhood in his throat. That or a few Halliburton stock certificates crammed in his maw. When we run out of cat food, that is the next best thing.
But no, when I got back to my lovely home, the B man greeted me at the door. And I have never been so happy to see him. Bentley really did look great. Maybe he needed a break from me as much as I needed a break from him.
So all it takes to get a sick 14 year old cat well again is to leave town. Just so you know, folks. And thank you for reading Moxie even though it makes me uncomfortable.
Thursday, Tony and I drove out to the NowLive studio for a show. I walked him through what I wanted to talk about and how I would transition from each topic.
First off, I was hung over because my Mother gave me a brutal beating about being 35 and unmarried. Wine was the only option. Apparently, the only purpose of having a kid, is that said kid eventually squeezes out grandkids, like toys on an assembly line in China. But more expensive and demanding. And hopefully with less lead.
Most parents dread spending money on some ridiculous, lavish wedding that will be concluded with an ugly divorce. But not mine.
I think they'd even look forward to the divorce and custody battle over the grandkids I provided in the meanwhile. Tony stole my own transition, so I never got to say that I want a guy who is not scared off by my mother, for cripes' sake!
I waver over whether to scream and protest when my guests ignore me, or try to move things along when I'm not ready vs. not making a fuss and keeping things smooth.
So yeah, I was under the weather but that didn't stop me from talking about my love of dick.
We were talking Big Brother 8 and "evel dick", and later Dick Cheney.
And also sad is the belated cancellation of the Half Hour News Hour.
Though Joel Surnow's soul patch had no official comment, on the show we discussed the Half Hour Abortion Hour and his humor conservation crew. Oh and the many funny conservatives in Hollywood (oddly not involved in that show) were also named.
No one knew who Mary Lynn Rajskub was... she's fucking great. Glad to have her on the team.
This and much more is available if you go check out my page on NowLive. So do it, assholes.
Posted by Moxie at August 17, 2007 2:37 AM
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Comments
funny thing about chlamydia - my roommate had a pair of chinchillas and when i asked what their names were i thought she said one of 'em was named "chlamydia". . . after a couple of months of me referring to him as chlamydia my roommate finally asked why i kept calling her chinchilla an std. . . ends up she'd named him "media". . .
Posted by: bloopy at August 17, 2007 4:54 AM
My gay houseboy knew two kids...one was named chlamydia and the other gonorrhea..pronounced gone NOR e ah. Mom thought those were pretty names she saw at the clinic.
Posted by: Moxie at August 17, 2007 5:05 AM
First off, I was hung over because my Mother gave me a brutal beating about being 35 and unmarried.
Mention occasionally how hot you think Angelina Jolie is. That got my mom off my ass.
Posted by: Tanya at August 17, 2007 7:12 AM
I thought the show was great. Even the part where the engineer hung up on me without warning and told me to get lost.
So much for "crew" status.
I had this crazy idea that hosts got to choose their own guests.
Say what you will about Blogtalkradio. They don't throw your guests off your show.
Posted by: Steve H. Graham at August 17, 2007 8:02 AM
One of my cats, the cuddly one, just went througha near-death situation also. Turns out he ate a sick mouse. I've lost a few cats and I don't think I would take it any better than I did before.
I was unmarried at 35. Got married finally at 43 but sometimes I don't know why. But I did pretty well and at least I'm not stuck with some fat pot-smoking porn-watching slug like some other women I know.
But you do get used to doing what you want, when you want. Well, subject to the cat's welfare of course.
Posted by: Cassandra at August 17, 2007 9:54 AM
Missed your show because my AT&T internet service was knocked out by Tropical Storm Erin. Commenting via my Razr. Being in your thirties and unmarried isn't easy - as I've learned at age 32.
Posted by: Mike LaRoche at August 17, 2007 10:59 AM
Tanya, I just told my Mom that I won't be able to date until I get over my crushes on Rosie and Ellen. She wasn't amused, just so you know!
Posted by: Moxie at August 17, 2007 4:26 PM
The engineer threw Steve off the show? That sucks.
Posted by: Mike LaRoche at August 17, 2007 6:46 PM
I find it unbelievable that an attractive, funny and intelligent woman like you has a hard time finding a good man. That's just crazy. If you get desperate and find yourself in the North Carolina area, I am available... *wink wink*
Posted by: Ron Davis at August 18, 2007 4:28 PM
I'm glad your cat is doing better.
I don't particularly care for cats myself but my mom has always had one or two around and when something happens to one it breaks her heart, so I can respect your concen for the kitty.
Just so you know, I'm not afraid of anything. Not even afraid of beimg scared off by your mom :}
Posted by: Joatmoaf at August 21, 2007 1:41 PM
Totally off-topic: I know you're a closet reality show watcher, like me. So I have to ask, did you watch any of America's Got Talent? I only watched the last few weeks, but one of the contestants reminds me of you.
I don't know what it is. She really doesn't look like you, but there's something about her...
Posted by: Tanya at August 22, 2007 8:47 AM
Tanya, I didn't get to watch that one more than a few times, so I'm not sure who it was that reminded you of me. I'm just glad it was a she and not a he ;)
My reality TV schedule is insane this summer. Thank gawd for the DVR.
Are you watching Big Brother 8? I have been. Far too much because "Evil Dick" showed up in one of my dreams. Oy. I'm also roped into "Flipping Out", my friends and I quote Jeff all the time. It's sick but hilarious.
Posted by: Moxie at August 22, 2007 1:59 PM
Hee. Good point. It was the little beatboxer girl. I wish I could explain why she reminds me of you, exactly, but I'm really not sure. I was hoping someone else would back me up.
I've seen two or three episodes of Big Brother 8. I really dislike Dick, and the girl with the vocabulary issues makes me burn things.
I might try Flipping Out. I saw a commercial that looked good, but then forgot about it.
Posted by: Tanya at August 22, 2007 2:23 PM
The beatbox girl is better than the person who told me I reminded them of Nicole Ritchie! I weigh at least 75 lbs more than Ritchie *even when she's prego*. Plus oh yanno, I'm fair, blue eyed and German.
I love "evil Dick" as an atheist who would never mock god. It's pee-your-pants-funny when he says things like "Jameka, I won veto because god wanted me to," and claps in people's faces, farts and is generally obnoxious. He's Puck from the Real World.
Try to catch the episode of Flipping Out from 7/31/07. They replay 'em all the time. But that one has the most quotable lines of any I've seen yet. Instant classic.
I think I'm going to talk about that show on MoxVox tomorrow!
Posted by: Moxie at August 22, 2007 2:51 PM
*laugh* well if you want to get your mom off your back, why don't we run off and get married :)
Posted by: Ed at August 24, 2007 7:53 AM
