Dear Lady, I know your pain. I always felt like my Douglas was my firstborn child. We had such a deep bond. All I can say is I'm praying for you, to be able to withstand this. Like I said yesterday, it won't get better, it will never be better again, now that your baby is gone, but somehow you will get to a place that you aren't a mess. I don't know how, but I did, it has taken about two months.
Try to hold Phoebe as much as you can, and be sure that she eats. You may have to hold her and hand feed her some special treat or something to perk up her appetite, but make sure she eats something soon or she could get sick.

Having owned a beautiful black cat for the past seven years, I can attest that they are far smarter than I originally gave them credit for. I would say to let Phoebe sort things out for herself, but Heather is right that you may need to be proactive in her healing.

I'm sorry for your loss. It's truly gonna suck when the time comes for my cat to pass on.

hang in there, mox. at least you had the blessings of time together, right??

I know that cats can morn and for a long time. When we had to let our dog Brain go...he had lymphoma and was suffering...our cat kept looking and looking for him. She treated the dog as if he were her momma, you see.

She would go to the pet door and tap on the flap...that used to get Brain to come running to see what was going on..and she'd wait and wait.

Finally, she just curled up on a chair and watched the pet door. She'd get up to eat and use the litter box, but she stopped even grooming herself.

I think it was as hard to watch her morn as it was for us to morn. It still makes me cry to remember it. Anyone who says dogs and cats don't love is someone who has lived a very poor life.

She's a changed cat now, more affectionate with her humans. Before, she lavished all her adoration on Brain, so she's had to make do with us.

Give Phoebie some extra attention, and help her groom and make her eat. She'll need you and perhaps that's the best thing she can do for you. The two of you can morn together.

I know how you feel, Moxie. I lost a love-bird recently (don't knock birds until you've experienced one)... and it still has me in a mess. In fact, I'm still a mess since my constant pal, a cocker spaniel, passed away over 10 years ago. They never really leave you, and you'll always be able to "see them" around the place. After a while, though, the mind moves on to other things... only to be reminded in the weirdest ways. I still am sad over how my bird passed... I felt horrible for it. He was so damned smart too... constantly unscrewing my watch-crown and stopping time- you'd look down and say: "Hey, what the hell !?!!" :)

I continually ask myself it the pain of their loss is worth going through the joy of their life with them... and I can only say that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.

My GF has a cat who we think is going to be having kidney failure *sometime indeterminant time in the future*... it leaves us constantly on edge with him. Damn cat hardly eats at all, and he looks so skinny... it's not for want of food, let me tell you- 'cause he has food all over. He's just quirky. Of course his Sister, who weighs tons more than he does doesn't have any problems eating. We get worried anytime he looks a bit depressed or tired... one day it'll likely come, and when it does, it's surely going to be painful.

But, all we can do right now is ensure he's having a blast, and that he's getting all the possible attention he needs (vets etc. as well).

Hang in there, Mox. These little fellow's life-spans are short, but they're a blast when they're with you. That's the important part to remember- Bentley had a good life with you. I'm positive he'd tell you that if he could.

Sending your concerns up in prayers along with all the others... -Allen

Moxie, hang in there my friend. It will get easier and you will look back on the memories and laugh, smile, and cry all at the same time. My most sincere condolences on your loss. -doug

Awwww!!! Mox,Im sorry to hear this.I know how much you loved bentley.........Nino

Your word bring tears to my eyes. I so very much understand where you are coming from. I always question my sanity when the end comes - why in the world did I ever think it would be a good idea to give my heart to a creature who would leave too soon? The answer, of course, is because they are so worth it. My heart goes out to you.

I'm with Heather above re: maybe doing some hand-feeding with Phoebe if she doesn't start eating soon. My best to you and your kitties.

Hi Moxie, it is very hard having a beloved member of the family depart. 14 years of enjoyable companionship is a great gift though. He knew that his work was done, he passed your care along to his friends. He knows you are still well taken care of. My oldest cat is 14 and slowing down, but still watches over the family and is passing it along to the kittens, just like it was passed to him 5 years ago. Always remember the good things and adventures. They would want it that way.

Dear Mox, so sorry to hear this...call if you need a shoulder. -Amy

Moxie,

I am truly sorry to hear of the passing of your beloved. My own of 18.5 years passed away last year, on October 13.

Actually, we had to put her down because she was experiencing more and more pain (had cancer). She refused all food for about two weeks. She was a fraction of herserlf and completely disoriented when she passed. This was truly one of the most difficult decision we had to make. The thought of her last moments being spent in a paroxysm of pain, though, was too much for us, and we wanted her to go painlessly.

She brought us much laughter and love for the time we had her. She was a connection to our past and lives on in our memories. We were able to inter her, along with her favorite toys, in one of her favorite spots in the garden.

I know what you're going through and know that you will, in time, the grief will ebb and the happy memories remain.

Marc

I'm sorry to be responding to this so late, but please accept my sympathy. I know what it's like to lose a member of your family.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Oh, Moxie...I'm so sorry. You're in my thoughts.

Moxie - good suggestions for Phoebe.

As for yourself... time does heal. It's a bitch getting through it, though.

Be as gentle as you can with yourself.

I don't know if it will help, or if you are interested, but you aren't alone in this difficult time. Rachel Lucas just had to euthanize her dog companion of 8 years. She is going through a lot of the same emotions that you are.

Hang in there, Mox. I wish you could you could use your Master Collection to Photoshop Bentley back to health and life. The 'fountain of youth' add-in hasn't been designed yet, sadly.

All the best and thinking of you,
sdg

I rescued two kittens,Fubar and Kludge, from a feral litter when they were maybe 6 weeks old. At 5 months one of them Fubar, died after getting his shots at the vet. Kludge was really distraught as was I, so after a trip to the Humane society, I brought home Fats and things have been fine since. I feel your pain..

Many years ago, when our German Shepard died, our cat over the next couple of months started pulling out her fur, biting herself, etc. Apparently, they had progressed quite a bit from the days of the cat hiding under the beds while the dog tried to get close enough for a good sniff. Regrettably, we had to have the cat put to sleep because she was destroying herself.

So sorry for your loss, mox. I lost my first cat to a heart ailment at age 8. It's tough because they're so innocent. They don't know what's happening to them and all they can do is look to you to make them better, and you can't, you can only take their pain away.

You gave him the best life a cat could hope for.