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April 29, 2003
snip snip -- circumcision
Well here you go, just as I go out the door. And for the record, a topic I never thought I'd bring to light on Moxie.
Just curious on your thoughts. I've never met a man who didn't make a decision without consulting his sensitive member. Now that the sensitivity issues are out the window are you for it or against it?
While I'll never personally know the difference, hopefully I 'll have son of my own someday and have to make an informed decision. Now you can influence the fate of a future Moximillion Jr.
Posted by Moxie at 7:12 PM | Comments (73)
deluge
Typically, my life moves at a pace that allows me to keep all of you up to date. The past seven days however, have thrown me into an unbalanced state. I’ve got 487 unanswered emails in my inbox. I alternate between answering the older and the newer – I fully apologize to those I have not responded to promptly. It’s random selection, I swear.
I’ve been away from casa del mox more than I’ve been home, so phone messages and snail mail have also been neglected. Much like my mail, the stories have piled up and I don’t even know where to begin. Many of the last few weeks’ best stories haven’t been told because I’ve felt uncomfortable telling them.
There are job opportunities and interviews. There are dates, not only with Secret Service Man but with new guys who talk more than he does. The phone rings off the hook and I was forced to turn off the ringer in order to get my work done sans interruptions.
Things have been organized around the house, errands run and after a long period of time where the universe wasn’t sending me anything other than a bad hand, life has adjusted. It feels like there was a clogged drain and now everything I’ve been looking for the last year and a half is finding me – all at once.
Please, pardon me while I adjust into “real life” mode. I’m not gone, just wishing there were more than 24 hours in a day.
Posted by Moxie at 4:47 PM | Comments (9)
April 28, 2003
WANT TO STAR IN YOUR OWN REALITY SHOW???
A new show to start filming mid-summer will be a reality series--the cameras will document one lucky guy's life for 7 weeks. it is from the same producers of fear factor & big brother.
If you are:
--> a Los Angeles single male (25-35 years old)
--> not a WORKING actor or model
--> looking to make your life better and willing to make changes
--> have friends, family, co-workers, etc who will be willing to participate while you are filmed 7 weeks of your life mid-summer 2003.
If that is YOU, or someone you know -- please send a picture, a little about yourself, and your contact informatione to me (please remove the "REMOVE THIS" before sending.) -- a friend of mine is casting for a new reality series. I will forward to her and if you fit the description above, you may be called in for a formal interview in hollywood.
There will be compensation for being on the show. Feel free to comment, however only emails with photos will be forwarded to my friend who is casting.
Posted by Moxie at 12:54 AM | Comments (25)
April 25, 2003
too much smarts in one room
The wonderful lefty, ain't no bad dude talks to smart sara and the nicest guy on earth, matt welch as my Lakers lose.
Many other famous LA writers were present, like molli, emmanuelle, mickey and martin.
Even angelyne tried to crash in her pink corvette. Photo attempts were unsuccessful despite Molli and Kim's encouragement. Shoulda brought the new camera.
More pics to follow.
Sara and I crashed a fischer spooner party in Hollywood after the LA Press Club event. Even thought they should have been somewhere between san francisco and san diego...never doubt the party rumors. Especially when they come from the club owner's best friend, who got you in the door.
No Carson Daly sightings were recorded, but the story will be posted...just as soon as I wake up.
Posted by Moxie at 3:07 AM | Comments (10)
April 23, 2003
Leap of faith
There's always excitment around casa del mox, though rarely the good kind. I was out on the second floor terrace with the cats today. It runs the length of my townhouse and is enclosed on all but one side. Since it faces west, it receives a lot of direct afternoon sun and the cats love to sunbathe.
Both were sitting on one of the rocking chairs at the far end -- I have to keep an eye on them but they were about 14 feet from the danger zone. I dashed inside to answer the phone. Another effing bill collector. Then I heard a crash and a thud.
One cat was missing. Phoebe of course.
I told the lady that my cat had just jumped off the balcony and fell two stories and hung up. She called right back but I didn’t bother to answer.
Quickly, I leaned over the railing to see where she had landed. There were four possible options: the ivy plants, the stone walkway or the cement slab that runs between the two buildings. Oh shit, then I see there’s also a fence. Please god, don’t let her have been impaled on the fence.
I couldn’t see her so I ran downstairs and found one very shaken feline creeping through the ivy and ferns. Seemingly all in one piece. Much like Bentley with his swollen anus, I methodically touched all her paws, her tail, checked to see if she knocked out any teeth. Was she bleeding? Broken? Bruised? Hurting?
Still worried, I let her out of my lap to see if she walked with a limp or displayed any other sign of injury. She ran straight for Bentley, poked him in the ass with her paw and chased him back upstairs. By the time I got back into the office, she was howling at the door to go back out. “Not in this lifetime," I told my flying feline.
One life down 8 to go.
elsewhere: crispy duck -- my second blog child!! Go wish her well :)
Posted by Moxie at 4:34 PM | Comments (24)
April 22, 2003
California almost out of money
What a sad financial report for a wealthy state with a diverse and relatively strong economy.
Experience we trust,
Values we share?
Not so much.
Bet Davis wishes he went a little lighter on the ice sculptures and confetti.
(link via Drudge)
Posted by Moxie at 3:17 PM | Comments (12)
good times. noodle salad.
I woke up to a nice surprise today. An old friend had stumbled on my site and sent me an email. This certainly wasn’t the first time that type of thing has happened, but it is a definite benefit to having a web site. I appreciate that he took the time to email me, and I’m happy to be back in touch with him so long after the internet gravy train got hijacked by reality.
Many of my friends from “real life” read my website. It’s not a replacement for talking to me, or hanging out and getting caught up. It’s simply a way for them to get a fix on what I’m up to when our lives are busy and time to hang out or phone calls are inconvenient. A lot of my “real life” friends have web sites, and I do the same with them.
These people don’t give a shit whether I’m listening to 50 cent or having another threesome with Aaron Spelling and Nigella Lawson. To get the full story they call and I answer. Unless I’m not home. But they leave messages, unless my machine is full.
If you are like me, your machine fills up before you wake up – not with calls from Carson Daly asking to do a line of coke off your ass, but with some schmuck’s fax machine that has been calling you for almost a year. If you are like me, you don’t care because it makes your life seem more exciting, mysterious and demanding than it really is.
I hate the voicemail movement. Unless you are organized and quick as the wind and can check caller ID on your cordless phone before voicemail picks up, voicemail is useless. I opt for a cost free service I call “personal call screening” and an old fashioned answering machine. Then again, it still requires finding your cordless phone, checking the caller ID and then answering if appropriate, even after they start talking and you have verified it's not your Great Aunt Mildred calling.
But your real life friends, well they call frequently and you have beers and talk about noodle salad and car mechanics. That’s a friend. Real life people who read my site but don’t get in touch are shit out of luck on the moxie train. Talk about reading half a story. They have no idea what they’re missing. Or maybe they do…
elsewhere: Matt Moore who is devastated that I'm in love with the Iraqi Disinformation Minister
Posted by Moxie at 1:00 AM | Comments (13)
April 20, 2003
a love letter to comical ali
I miss you baby. I may even love you. You knew exactly how to make me laugh during the darkest of days. When I read about your reported demise I decided it was high time for me to write you a letter. Again, I trust this is just a further example of your dedication to the spread of disinformation. I love it when you play it that way, my little cabbage.
But there’s a job and a couch waiting for you here in LA. Sunny California will be good for you. The couch isn’t very comfortable, and I can’t pay you much but I’ve got bill collectors calling me up the wazoo. I can’t answer my phone anymore. But YOU could.
This is how I imagine it happening. Baghdad Bob, you sexy mofo you, picture yourself doing this:
Sir, I’m going to keep calling at all hours of the night and day until Moxie pays her billsBills? We have paid all of them…well most of them
Ali? Is that what you said your name is? Moxie told us she was going to the post office to mail a payment today. I just wanted to make sure she made it to the post office.
Moxie? Moxie is nowhere near the post office...she is lost in the desert...she can not read a compass...she is retarded.
She seemed okay when she used her credit card a year ago…I’d like to speak to Moxie
Moxie is nowhere (pause)...she is nowhere, really
Sir, is Moxie there? I’ll call back if necessary.
You MasterCard lady are most welcome to call. We will butcher you.
Sir, please no threats, I’d just like to know when the bill will be paid
There are no bills in Los Angeles. Not even within 150 miles. That bill is like a snake and we are going to cut it in pieces.
I’m hanging up, Ali.
Even those who live on another planet, if there are such people, would have condemned this phone call before it started.
Goodbye
You, Ms. MasterCard are becoming hysterical. This is the result of frustration. My own shock and awe.
See baby? You are much needed here in Los Angeles. Please think about it. You know how to reach me.
xoxo,
~moxie
Posted by Moxie at 10:20 PM | Comments (15)
April 19, 2003
something new
Originally, I was going to keep this under wraps for a bit longer, but I just can't.
I am completely in love with a wonderful and handsome man!!
He even posed for a picture and is kindly allowing me to post it.
Bentley answers to "bunny" but I'm fairly sure it's because he'd like to catch one.
Happy Easter!
Posted by Moxie at 9:33 PM | Comments (21)
unusually cruel men
Back in December, I was sure he did it -- now it's one step closer to official. Scott Peterson is sick and demented, but I'll leave that type of ranting for others who do it better.
What really frightens me is that two families and a very lovely young lady failed to see he was capable of such horrendous things. It makes me look twice at the guys I meet and date.
Scott was gainfully employed, attractive, educated. How did he hide the disgusting side of himself for so many years?
A while back a reader from Cornell asked me to talk about my dating horror stories when I was a student high above Cayuga's waters. Since this particular story falls into the category of "unusually cruel men" there's no time like the present.
For three years I was dating a guy from Ohio -- from an all around nice midwestern family. "Matt" was intelligent, handsome, popular and had a great sense of humor. After all that time, I felt like I really knew this man when he suddenly became more than a bit evil.
One night at a bar in collegetown, we were hanging out with our friends. A completely typical night until Matt started laying on the not-so-subtle "I'm going to take you home with me" action on another girl. Unbeknownst to me, he slipped out the back door with her and after a half hour I realized he was gone.
I was shocked and hurt but it wasn't a huge problem if that was the kind of guy he was -- I was immature but not stupid. Unfortunately I had left the keys to my apartment and other items at his place. I walked over to retrieve them. Outside the door to his studio apartment I could hear sounds that could only mean one thing.
Emotion overcame me, and I ran out of the building in tears. It's cold in Ithaca -- and not a good idea to cry outside. After cracking the frozen tears off my face at a friend's place, I fell asleep after crying some more. The next morning I went back over, I had class to attend -- and no keys to get my books and the paper that was due.
Fortunately, the girl had left by then but he wasn't happy to see me.
We exchanged a few words while I collected my belongings. I turned to leave and he pulled a huge knife out of the butcher block stand. At first I thought he was joking, the whole scene quickly became surreal.
"Don't be ridiculous -- I didn't do anything wrong here"
"You aren't leaving, Moxie"
He pushed me against the kitchen counter and in the process my elbow bumped a plate that fell to the ground and shattered. This only enraged him more.
"You are going to replace that plate, you b*tch"
He put the knife to my throat and told me he was going to kill me. In a moment of rare clarity, I told him to go ahead. That he'd already caused me a lot of pain and that from beyond I would watch him gleefully as he sat in a prison cell and became some big hairy man's bitch.
Seemed like more than a few minutes before he took the knife away from my throat. He put it down and threw me at the door and told me to get out. I did, gladly.
While I admit that I am not the best judge of character, I had seen no evidence over the three years that Matt was capable of such insanity. Lucky for me, I did find out before I was injured.
He threatened me for months while I searched for a replacement plate for his set. Ended up buying a whole set, but I was glad to be done with him.
After graduation, it was his last night on campus and I received a phone call from my building's entrance.
"Moxie, I'm leaving tomorrow morning. I just wanted to see you."
"I'm sorry, I'm packing. Have a nice trip home"
"Please let me in. This will be our last chance to see each other"
"No. Now go away before I call the police"
"Moxie, I love you"
That was the first time he said that to me. That was the first time ANYONE had said that to me. Needless to say, I hung up.
Because that's not love.
Posted by Moxie at 2:14 PM | Comments (41)
April 18, 2003
CNN looting
The obituary not found by The Smoking Gun.Posted by Moxie at 2:09 AM | Comments (18)
April 17, 2003
wireless from the neighborhood bar
Someone stuffed 150 bucks into the amazon tip jar lodged between my huge jugs.
I have no idea who that was, but I was stunned and appreciative.
Even more shocking was that someone from Time sent me $3 bucks divvied up as follows: 25 cents for the Clinton lashing with a wet noodle and the rest for my photo.
I never scoff at any donation, no matter what the size. It's all a sweet kiss.
The thought that anyone finds what I do enjoyable or cathartic enough to send live cash is enough to keep me going.
Hey, even if you are a bleeding heart liberal and abhor my political posts, the BEST way to express that you disagree with me is not via an exhaustive list of links allegedly proving me wrong.
No, I have no time to dig up links from WWII, or counter claim your interpretations of Baghdad Bob's comments.
See suddenly I have a life. Something I've wished for, for quite a long time.
Instead show me how much you hate me by flowing me cash, buy me a virtual beer, show me the left wing goodwill towards man.
Really, cash I will notice. Long lists of links and Junior High School debate sessions will be ignored.
I thought Slick Willy was a great President, just not militarily. Or husbandarily. Or father-wise. Or morally.
But whatever. I'm so far out of the closet now as a right wing leaner. There's no going back. If you hate me, just send me cash and I'll stick to the personal posts ;)
elsewhere: tony pierce and rachel lucas. politically they cancel each other out, but are both fantabulous writers. Read them!!
Posted by Moxie at 1:02 AM | Comments (13)
April 16, 2003
well look who's anti-American now
Yep, our buddy Bill Clinton.
The guy who sent a few cruise missiles into Iraq to "reprimand the dictator" for not complying with numerous UN resolutions. He refused to send armor to Somalia. This Clinton powered military bombed an asprin factory in the Sudan in response to the bombing of two U.S. embassies in Kenya and Tanzania {corrected, hat tip croow blog}. And we also bombed the hell out of Bosnia but didn't send ground troops until the peacekeeping phase.
My take on this? The Democrats are so out of favor they can't even comprehend.
My take on Slick Willy? He wishes his balls were 1/10th the size of Dubya's. That man knows how to take care of what Clinton and his own Father could not, with grace and dignity.
Clinton said,
"Our paradigm now seems to be: something terrible happened to us on September 11, and that gives us the right to interpret all future events in a way that everyone else in the world must agree with us."
Yes Bill, anyone who targets civilians working in two towers, supports homicide bombers financially or ideologically is wrong.
Apparently, Clinton doesn't feel that any government regime who kills and rapes their own citizens might be a threat to the rest of the free world. If you don't see how the concept of "prevention" is important, than why support pregnancy prevention (Bill you DO use condoms, doncha?), or disease prevention? I have a free ticket to China for ya.
Seriously -- if prevention is a moot point then why bother with all the anti-republican propaganda the sole purpose of which is to prevent GWB's re-election?
But I guess we have Bill to thank for one thing -- Saddam planned this war using his Somalia tactics. And the Black Hawk Down movie his Hollywood supporters made. Thank gawd for that one small favor.
I've got Janeane Garofalo's number....I think she and Bill might have a lot in common. And she might be more fun in bed than that halfwit he's been cheating on.
UPDATE: Tim Blair and Andrea Harris weigh in. Andrea's sot some hilarious gems in there "Mr. Smarty Pants said this recently, and it sure sounds like an opinion off the short bus to me" Go check it out!
Posted by Moxie at 1:52 AM | Comments (68)
April 15, 2003
more wireless blogging
Brian sent me an instant message the other day and reminded me that I hadn't posted any photos of myself recently.
I knew he was right and that was a few days ago.
So tonight I had a friend snap this one after dinner. In the interest of journalistic integrity, I was actually checking my site stats at the time, but you know -- it's almost authentic wireless blogging. Unless you count the power plug, in which case I'm shit out of luck.
Afterwards we watched Chinatown and As Good as it Gets. A Nicholson double feature if you will.
I wanted to see Five Easy Pieces and Easy Rider because I love those flicks and they both have easy in the title.
I like synergy.
And after a rough few years everything in life should be easy. Or easier.
But we're both short on pocket change and I own both of the titles we did watch.
I'm off to bed. It's late, otherwise I'd mention a few of my favorite quotes from As Good as it Gets. Instead, maybe you could leave your favorite Nicholson quotes...or favorite quotes period. User generated content. I'm sleepy....
Posted by Moxie at 1:45 AM | Comments (83)
April 14, 2003
why some of you can't see my images
Folks, I finally figured out why some people can't see my images. Has something to do with the hotlink protection I have activated on my server and those who are behind firewalls or use proxy servers.
How do I fix that? I don't know but am open to suggestions.
Part of the reason I have hotlink protection activated is to conserve my bandwidth. I've got Dawn's site on my account too now, and then there are people I know who have their own server space yet hotlink my images on their site without any acknowledgment to me the photographer. Mike isn't alone, I'm only picking on him because he's a nice guy, we have exchanged emails in the past and I'm sure that it isn't done out of malice.
Often times it's just someone linking an image or something on a forum, or someone on blogspot who doesn't have storage space. But I use all of my bandwidth every month and by the time I find the offending links it's often too late and the bandwidth has been sucked dry.
Lots of blogs have the Creative Commons license. You should notice that Moxie isn't one of them. I feel that the things I write and the photographs I take are my property alone. By nature of sharing them I am not giving people permission to take and use them as their own. While that might make me sound like a jerk -- the things I post here are largely very personal and it feels like someone has rummaged through my personal drawers!
Please ask me before you hotlink one of my images, I'm likely to agree as long as proper attribution is provided. That and I have to configure it manually. I apologize to those who can't see images as a result...someday there will be a better way.
Posted by Moxie at 3:02 PM | Comments (12)
Mr. Personality
Mark April 21st on your calendars folks. Mr. Personality premiers, hosted by none other than Miss White House Congeniality Monica Lewinsky.
I'm looking forward to seeing how she who has been so shy about her pubic, I mean public life handles being in the spotlight, this time intentionally.
This show is formatted much like The Bachelorette, however these male contestants must vie for Hayley, a stock broker's affection wearing a mask. The jerk that lurks inside of me hopes they really did throw in some toothless men. If ever there was a dating show well suited for Michael Jackson, this would be it. Haven't got a nose? No problem!
Should be interesting to see how the men's inability to rely on their dimples and sparkling smiles, nor be penalized for their physical imperfections will change the dynamic of the show's format. Rumor has it, there is a dark groping room where the men may remove the mask and allow the Bachelorette to "feel" his "features."
I'm hoping there will be overnight visits -- where the beautiful woman in lingerie rests her head on the masked man's shoulder in front of the fire. That image alone should appeal to an interesting cross-section of viewers -- adults who still read superhero comics as well as those with mask/costume fetishes.
Once again, I think they have this concept gender reversed. Many women I know frequently pick men based on personality. For christ's sake look at the wedding announcements in the newspaper -- lovely, young attractive women marrying heavyset (okay - overweight), slightly balding plain looking guys.
The truly interesting show would be the reverse. A man who must choose someone to "love" based only on her personality. I wonder if that's ever happened on a reality teevee dating show?
Well maybe next season.
Posted by Moxie at 1:19 PM | Comments (16)
April 12, 2003
fritatta a la mox
I love to cook. While I'm no expert, when something is really good I always have an urge to share. Mostly I resist that urge, but not tonight.
Being broke has its advantages...I had forgotten about this cheap and easy meal I've made many times in my "I've only got 10 dollars to my name" past.
Dice any or all of the following to taste
- garlic
- onions
- red, yellow and orange bell peppers
- mushrooms
- zucchini (corgettes)
- tomatoes
- even pre-cooked chicken, ham, turkey or bacon (basically anything you'd put in an omelette will do)
Using medium heat, sautee the chosen items with a tablespoon of olive oil in a heavy skillet until they have softened. Keep in mind that the skillet should be mostly full with your veggies of choice. For extra flavor add a dash of balsamic vinegar to the mix.
Beat 6-8 eggs, and season with some salt and pepper to taste. Pour over your sauteed vegetables and cover.
After 10 or so minutes (you need to check it often since skillet sizes and thicknesses differ) when the top of the fritatta is mostly cooked sprinkle your favorite fresh herbs. I like to add cilantro, thyme, chives and basil.
Cover again for another few minutes until almost completely cooked.
Remove from heat and sprinkle the top of your fritatta with grated romano and parmesan cheese.
Place under the broiler just a few minutes until the cheese and top of fritatta has been lightly browned.
Remove to cool (five minutes will do). Cut into pie slices and serve with green chili pepper tabasco sauce drizzled over top. I like mine with ketchup, too.
I fully apologize for going kinda Martha Stewart on your unsuspecting selves. Happens ocassionally, but I'll try to keep it in check from here on out.
Posted by Moxie at 9:00 PM | Comments (24)
I love this photo
Reminds me of when I was that age and had only an inherent sense of what was good or bad without any political skew or bias. Also, I would have found that soldier pretty dang cute...
(photo found via the fabulous Pej)
Posted by Moxie at 1:00 AM | Comments (15)
would you look at the time?
I was supposed to meet some friends over an hour and a half ago. Got involved in researching dogs.
Yes, I'm getting one. A doggie is a neccessary addition to the Moxie zoo.
Doesn't have to be a puppy, either.
When I go to the pound, I want to have an idea of the various breeds -- temperments, needs and intelligence. Much of me wants to adopt a greyhound from the rescue foundation. But I love mutts, too. And back when I was a kid there was a neighborhood Shetland Sheepdog I played with everyday after the little girl who owned him died of leukemia. I've always wanted a Vizla or Weimaraner. Yet other parts of me wants a Beagle or Jack Russell Terrier.
The girly girl in me wants a Papillon that I can walk or carry in my oversized handbag.
Basically, I want a companion. And one who will deal well with my alpha male and ultra-alpha female felines....both of which got along fine with my neighbor's dogs.
Any suggestions/advice oh wise readers?
Posted by Moxie at 12:03 AM | Comments (54)
April 11, 2003
the latest in poker
UPDATE: the whole deck is available for viewing here.
Posted by Moxie at 8:48 PM | Comments (11)
think different?
elsewhere: check out my hero brian. NOW!!!
Posted by Moxie at 1:17 AM | Comments (8)
the big red door
Surely there was something really interesting behind such a colorful door.
Seventy-two virgins?
America's most talented kid?
A business that actually makes money and is hiring?
He reached for Nora's hand and with his other he unlocked the door and led her inside.
Once the door had swung open it made sense why he had hesitated to bring her to his apartment. After her imagination got the best of her and she had envisioned a wife, white picket fenced house complete with dog and kids -- he finally relented.
"I'm warning you, my living conditions are not conventional"
It would take a special kind of girl to appreciate his converted office space/loft apartment. Wedged between an Indian restaurant and an auto repair shop it was aromatic and slightly noisy.
His "bedroom area" was surrounded not by walls but by reconfigured cubicle panels. There were stickers and things from the defunct company still attached to the outside. The kitchen was industrial and sterile, filled with plastic logo-ed cups and ceramic coffee mugs that said, "Always Be Closing."
A bit nervous Nora asked if she could use the bathroom. There were two. One marked "ladies" the other "gentlemen" of course.
Just to be brazen she used the gentleman's "lounge." Inside she found a few stalls, with stock certificates wrapped around a roll of toilet paper. There was also a urinal and another stall that had been converted into a shower. The one wall was lined with sinks. His shaving supplies and other personal items scattered on the counter seemed out of place.
So did the steaks and vegetables in the silver sub zero, big enough to hold food for 150.
It was eerie that someone could live where a dotcom had gone bust. How did he get away with this...with LA zoning laws and all? How could he stand such a bizarre living situation?
Turns out desperation on the part of the building owner, led to a totally disregard of consumerism. Neither could find exactly what they wanted, so they settled.
Posted by Moxie at 12:05 AM | Comments (9)
April 10, 2003
the neighbors
I don't have much to say today. Walked around and took some photos, as usual. As I was walking I greeted Stella, Koa, Chloe and Hans.
Those aren't my neighbor's names. I don't know their names but am on a first name basis with their dogs and cats.
Stella is a fluffy little puppy who flops down on my feet so I can't continue until I pet her. Hans is a kitty who runs out of the bushes when I pass by, and rolls around on the sidewalk in front of me until I scratch his belly. My neighborhood is friendly -- the humans wave and say hello even those who live a few blocks away. Pretty much everyone takes walks in the evening for one reason or another so all the faces are familiar.
I caught this photo of a close neighbor. He was a little shy but I managed to snap the camera in the nick of time. Don't know his name yet, but I'm sure I'll find out.
Posted by Moxie at 5:10 PM | Comments (20)
April 9, 2003
in the garden
The secret service man has such a goofy smile you can't help but smile when you see him. That and you'd never suspect he's partially responsible for our nation's well being.
He makes you happy when you see him and he's not nervous at all when you look at him. He doesn't seem anxious when you talk to him or ask him questions. Doesn't seem like he's lying or telling half truths, which is very good for me.
Today he looked at my photos while his crew searched my place. I pretended like I didn't know but I did. To distract me he asked me what I saw in the garden outside my front door. With my camera we walked outside as the crew entered silently from the back door.
I said, I'm not so good with words, let me take a photo.
He agreed and sat on the front step.
After I snapped this photo, I told him I saw peace, joy, mystery and promise. He told me he saw an agent in my bedside table. I shrugged and said, I don't care. It's not like those lotions and potions came from Chemical Ali.
He said he'd like to find out.
I told him it was way too soon for that so I showed him the photo I took instead.
That's nice he said, "what is it?"
"I'm not going to tell you"
So I made him walk around the garden until he found it. For a brilliant guy it took him longer than I thought.
Once he located the subject of my photo he whistled through his teeth and rounded up the men crawling through my place. I got my top secret clearance and we all hopped in his convertible and cruised down to the beach for the sunset.
It wasn't very romantic with the others there, but that's okay we're taking things slowly.
Posted by Moxie at 12:08 AM | Comments (14)
April 8, 2003
administrative post
If you've got me linked on the main page of your blog, please leave me a comment with your URL if I haven't linked you back yet. Or if your link has changed, or if your blog is no longer active...
You know the drill. That's all!
Posted by Moxie at 11:35 PM | Comments (41)
much later
I spend a lot of time wondering what my life will be like when I'm sixty or seventy. That question was pretty much answered when I saw this woman today and snapped a photo as I was walking behind her.
Hopefully, I'll have blue hair and candy in amber colored glass dishes all over my home. I'll incessantly complain about my bursitis and have a husband who wears his white support socks pulled all the way to the knee, even when he's wearing his madras shorts.
I'm not interested in being a hip grandmother. I'd much rather start every conversation with, "back in my day -- things were different" and force my kids and grandkids to eat my stuffed peppers and chicken soup even though they insist they aren't hungry.
Ideally, I'll be that kind of Grandma who smells slightly powdery...like Avon, wears bright pink lipstick and spends a lot of time making nut rolls and homemade cookies of every variety.
On that note, I'm not interested in being a mother who's asked if her daughter is her sister. Aging is such a strange and taboo thing after a woman hits 21. Prior to that there's always the infamous, "I wish I was old enough to {insert some activity here}"
Once you turn 21, there aren't any things to look forward to that are defined soley by age. For instance, I've never heard,
"I can't wait for my first wrinkle!"
"Damn, I wish I was old enough to need Depends"
"If only I was 30 years older, I could have dentures and never have to visit the dentist again"
With the exception of a few years in my late 20's I've always acted my age. Sure I get upset when new lines form on my face -- change is always scary -- but why live to be 70 or even 80 if you can't experience it the way it's intended?
That's not to say I *want* to have debilitating illnesses, or god forbid incontinence but there are so many other things and perspectives that only come with having lived a lot of life.
Posted by Moxie at 12:27 PM | Comments (30)
April 7, 2003
shadows
I love the way the light filters through into my courtyard in the late afternoon.
Posted by Moxie at 6:08 PM | Comments (18)
April 4, 2003
wireless
Okay, I'm on a tear. Gotta get this out before I head out for the night. I have exactly 30 minutes.
I was sitting at my computer yesterday morning. The little beggars were hungry and they didn't want any of that dry crunchy stuff. So I got up and Bentley, ever the gentle little soul trotted alongside me downstairs to the kitchen. By the time I was in the kitchen I heard a huge thud from upstairs.
"I wonder what she knocked over THIS time" I thought. Phoebe arrived downstairs looking really guilty. More so than usual.
So I feed the feline beasts and head back up to see what transpired seconds after I left the second floor. Phoebe, a rough and tumble girl got tangled in the cords attached to my lap top and it landed on its side. The Ethernet cord was flush to the floor. Both the internal dial up and ethernet connectors fell out into my hand like nerds candy from the box.
Oh shit, I thought. Now what? Can it get any worse?
Yes, it can.
I go and borrow cash and head to the nearest computer store. My computer has a wireless modem. Hopefully that still works.
I buy what seems like a practical choice. A Microshaft wireless @#$%^% router. The cheapest one on the shelf after a rebate and compatible with Windows 2000...see it says so right on the box.
So I get home, sweating because I'm communicating with a few people about a job. Read the instructions, which is something I NEVER do. Follow them by the letter...also something I never do. Twenty-five pages into the instructions it says the router doesn't work well with Windows 2000. Now I'm sweating and shaking. Forced internet withdrawal isn't pretty.
Nothing. Doesn't work. Sit on hold waiting for tech support. 40 minutes pass. The bitch gets on the line and tells me I need to talk to the manufacturer of my laptop, that it's not microsoft's problem.
I call the manufacturer of my laptop, wait another 30 minutes to get someone on the phone and they say I need to get online to update my crappy Windows 2000 OS because microsoft sucks. I tell them I can't because my cat destroyed my conventional means of doing so. I cry. I curse. I fling myself on my bed.
10 hours later, I've tried again. Retried, cried, flung myself on the bed and repeated dozens of times.
This morning I woke up, I put the piece of shit back in the box and drive back over to the store to return the mother f&cker.
"Was there something wrong with this product?" the lady asked.
"Yes, it's a god damn piece of effing shit" I said, matter of factly. "It's not even compatible with a technical consultant and the OS it says it's compatible with on the effing box"
"No problem, ma'am" she said as she she checked some box on the return form. Probably the "microsoft products sucks" box.
I exchange it for a NetGear Wireless router and within 15 minutes and no tech support calls it was up and running.
The good news is, I can now blog from the john if it should so please me. But if I do, I'll keep that information to myself.
Now I'm off for a well deserved beer. But if have to relieve myself and have something to say at the same time...nothing can stop me now.
Posted by Moxie at 10:30 PM | Comments (32)
from the field
Hey well, now that I'm restricted to Kuwait, I've had a lot more time to sit around and reflect on my time in Iraq. Having been inside enemy lines, I can still almost hear the pow pow pow KAboom and rat a tat tat of the bombs and heavy artillery.
But on the upside, I got a great tan and met a lot of cool people. I especially miss my buddy Peter Arnett, not to be confused with Carol Burnett or god forbid Bob Arnot
Here's a photo he took of me and some guy who seemed pretty important.
We got along famously because we pretty much have the same mustache. That transcends language barriers and cultural differences. He took me down to his palace. There were almost a hundred virgins all over the place and they were listening to the Dixie Chicks, drinking French wine and watching Bowling for Columbine. What a great time I had! It was shame that I had to get back to the troops before Black Hawk Down started. All those reminders of America.
My great friends in the 101st Airborne division wanted me to draw them a map of the inside of the palace. But I learned my lesson! No more maps. Well maybe just on Moxie.
Just don't tell anyone. This is between me and all of you -- my biggest fans
xoxo,
Geraldo
elsewhere: Melissa
Posted by Moxie at 7:47 PM | Comments (11)
April 2, 2003
iraq according to geraldo
click to enlarge
People ask me, Moxie why do you seem to have incredibly good luck? I pull out my little black book and show them all the names and numbers crossed out with a black sharpie and most of the people walk away, saying they had no idea I led a normal life.
But today, they were right.
I got a call from my first satellite phone. It was Geraldo, and he asked me if he could send me an image to share with my readers, he could send it over his shoe phone, "Iraq according to Geraldo"
I'm feeling a lack of humor these days and he's feeling that pain, that misery in not having a journalistic outlet. While I was thinking maybe he should just get himself a web site instead I told him,
"but Geraldo, you were never a journalist!"
and he said, "the imagination is a powerful tool, Moxie." Who am I -- the girl who's heart and mind have a few synapses missing between the two -- to talk about logic and reality?
But to help a hard jack out, I'm posting his latest update on Iraq. If I disappear tomorrow, it's only because secret service man has wisked me off to an undisclosed location for his two days off that never seem to fall on a weekend. It's tough being a plaything for the man.
If I'm good to him, maybe he'll let me post from his wristwatch laptop and shoestring keyboard. Enjoy. A big loser signing off, for now.
Posted by Moxie at 11:38 PM | Comments (22)
April 1, 2003
not how I wanted it
I had to skip out on Mickey Kaus on Sunday. Was supposed to accompany him on a test drive of a spaceage Honda Gen-X mobile but I was really sick. Still was today.
Not having health insurance, the last thing I wanted to do was go to the doctor. My Mom, worried about SARS suggested I look up the low cost clinics here in LA.
You can’t imagine how much I dread the doctor’s office but I went over anyway. Whenever I’m in the waiting room I sit wondering what’s wrong with that guy, and if that lady to my right who’s sputtering green snot and wheezing is contagious. Really, I think it’s much safer just to weather out the storm at home than to subject one’s already weakened immune system to the germ potpourri lurking in the doctor’s office.
So there I sat in the waiting room with needle lovin crack ho’s and transvestite prostitutes. I was feeling pretty good about the state of my life affairs. It’s all relative. No one was sneezing toxic crud so I figured they all had STD's and as long as my ass was covered it was all good.
I hate those damn forms. Makes you want to survey your extended family just to ensure accuracy. I have a large extended family and I have no idea what’s floating in that gene pool. Diabetes? No. Hypertension? No. Allergies to medications? None. Date of last period? January.
Dr. FeelGood was a bit alarmed by that, but I assured him that it was completely normal for me. We argued over this for exactly two seconds before a nurse stuck a cup in my hand, pointed to the bathroom and said, “Go pee in that cup.”
I did, and sat there smugly waiting for the decrepit Dr. FeelGood to return. I hate when Doctor’s think they know someone’s body better than the owner. Especially the penis toting vagina doctors. They don’t even own the equipment.
He came back smiling, and I said,
“see? I told you so”
“Congratulations, you are going to be a mother.”
My heart was in my throat and my stomach was on the floor (again). I’ve always wanted kids. I talk about it all the time, but not quite this way. So I demanded a blood test to confirm.
As the nurse pulled out that effing needle I started to sweat thinking boy or girl?
If it's a boy I'll have to name him after my Dad, since I'm not speaking to the only possible father of my baby. If it's a girl....hmmmm, maybe Ava? How in gawd's name would I be able to buy all this baby stuff? Then I realized, after the initial shock wore off -- how excited my parents were going to be. Future Grandparents...
Shit. I couldn't even think straight at that point.
So the nurse puts this rubber band thing on my arm
when Dr. FeelGood returns and says, "April Fools Day, Fool!"
That shit isn't even the least bit funny. I hate being April's fool.
Posted by Moxie at 4:49 PM | Comments (42)
breaking news
Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, Iraqi information minister, is shown delivering a message to the nation from Iraqi President Saddam Hussein, in this image from video in Baghdad, Tuesday, April 1, 2003. (AP Photo/Iraqi TV via Abu Dhabi TV via APTN)
The Pentagon and CBS are looking into claims that Iraqi teevee has misappropriated the successful CBS reality teevee franchise.
Military officials said they could not independently verify if Sahhaf's moustache had been involved in any terrorist activities.
Posted by Moxie at 11:03 AM | Comments (18)
