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July 31, 2003
is he...is he doing what I think he is?
There is a grassy corner on Melrose that I walk past frequently. The grass is thick, deeply green and when you walk on it, the ground is kind of spongy. A little bit of country in the middle of cheap shops featuring kind of high fashion knock-offs.
For those of you who don’t know Los Angeles, Melrose is a pretty busy 4 lane boulevard. So you can imagine my surprise when I took a walk today and saw just ahead a man lying on the grass, having what appeared to be spasms.
I thought how strange it was that not one person has stopped to help him, it was clear he was having some sort of seizure. Say what you want about Angelenos, but from what I know we’re a helpful and friendly group.
Picking up my pace, I saw as I got closer that he wasn’t having a seizure, he had one hand under his shirt near his pant’s waist.
“Oh my god, is this a transient jerking off?” I wondered as I considered trying to find an alternate route to avoid something unpleasant, something NO ONE needed to see.
Traffic was heavy, couldn’t jaywalk across Melrose, but there was an alley I could duck into before I hit our friend the shameless masturbating homeless man….
About ten feet from the alley, I could see better and his hand was under his shirt and on his abs. He was doing crunches.
Thank gawd.
Weird? Yes. Disturbing? Well maybe...
I thought of something else unsavory.
He wasn’t wearing sweats, or anything that could be vaguely construed as work out clothes unless “business casual” is the latest in sweaty fashion. Crisp blue button down shirt and suit pants.
The busy location aside, this grassy corner is also a favorite spot for dogs to relieve their bladders and take a nice dump while watching the traffic fly by. Owners are often not always good about scooping the poop.
And I just didn’t have the heart to tell him. I’m sure by then, the damage was already done.
Please -- gnotalex my suggestion
Posted by Moxie at 5:48 PM | Comments (19)
Who said humans are mentally superior
The big assertive males don't always get the girls -- at least with some types of quail and salmon.
"People just expect the dominant guy to win. But females learn through personal experience that these males can be hurtful," according to Alex Ophir, of Canada's McMaster University in Ontario.
... After female quail watched a fight between two males they were put in the same cage with the combatants. Virgin females preferred the winner but the females with some sexual experience tended to choose the loser.
The females may also prefer to avoid the physical abuse of mating with aggressive males."
Seems the male/female dynamic is the same no matter what your species. Personally, I'll be glad when my human female friends take this fine lesson from the creatures.
What's the lesson?
Bigger isn't better...
Size really doesn't matter...
Mating is for the birds...
There's always another fish in the sea?
elsewhere: Todd Dunlap...go check out his blog!
Posted by Moxie at 8:36 AM | Comments (21)
July 30, 2003
Pre-Achievement Celebrity Gossip
Paige Jones, the seemingly innocent and naïve runner up on NBC’s “For Love or Money” attended the private pre-opening of the 9000 Lounge Tuesday night on Sunset Blvd in West Hollywood. Sporting a pink long sleeve t-shirt and jeans that must have been left over from the eighties, she spoke in whispers asking how to get her SAG card.
Sweet Paige was chain smoking with a mysterious "Brad," who was trying to sell her on his personal “system” only 50 bucks a month which would guarantee her 5 days of non-union extra work a week through Central Casting. That is if she’s serious about acting, he stipulated. Oh and you get a private voicemail box too.
Reality check, anyone can register with Central Casting providing they are free on a Friday or Wednesday morning to wait in the line and capable of filling out a form.
Paige is also well known on QVC for her lifelike representation of the Euroclean Magicloth and PVA Mop.
***
Moxie sources report that Evan Marriott, our favorite poor Joe Millionaire attended a party in the Hollywood Hills on Saturday night, along with Hollywood elite. Casting Directors, Playboy Bunnies and other kind-of-notables. More details to follow....
still avoiding the wilson bros: Da Goddess
Posted by Moxie at 1:14 AM | Comments (18)
July 29, 2003
clintons to "thwart" California recall
Via Drudge:
"The former president and his senator wife will trek to the golden state for campaign appearances with Gray Davis, top sources tell the DRUDGE REPORT."
Wouldn't that be like OJ Simpson or Mike Tyson showing up as a character witness for Kobe Bryant in his sexual assault case?
Davis isn't a criminal, he's just done a shitty job. He doesn't need the likes of those two "helping" him out. With friends like that motley duo, who needs enemies?
Maybe they can set up some costly ice sculptures as well.
Posted by Moxie at 1:36 AM | Comments (17)
July 28, 2003
coupling
Let's see if we have this straight... Steve's with Jane but he's suddenly hot for Susan who met Steve through Jeff whom Susan used to go out with though she's just dumped Patrick so he's asked Sally out which bugs Susan since Sally is her best friend...
For those of you living under a rock – NBC’s been heavily promoting its racy “new” sitcom Coupling. Translate that into reality and it means that they bought the rights from the BBC who created and produced the show that has enjoyed wild popularity within a much desired target audience for three seasons.
Buying the rights, very smart. Reusing the existing scripts replaced with new actors and gently altered scripts, not as smart.
In all fairness, I’ve seen the BBC version and it’s hilarious and fast paced -- if you look away for even a second during the first few minutes of the show, much of the humor will be lost on you during the remainder of the episode.
It’s much smarter, more risqué and intelligent than American teevee shows. So now everyone’s talking about coupling. Didn’t you hear it’s the new Friends?
While I am pleased as punch to finally see Jay Harrington on a major network instead of making out with Nancy McKeon on Lifetime, I’m less than enthusiastic about the show, which I’ve already said is very good.
Why wouldn’t I be? Every single episode is available on Kazaa. Really.
Three seasons worth of the BBC show is available for download to your laptop to view at your convenience. My sources say that the writers changed very little for the NBC version -- it’s a "restroom" not the "loo." It’s "kissing" not "snogging." It’s "sex" not "shagging."
Well thank god, it’s not like we crass Americans couldn’t figure that out or decipher the British accent if NBC had simply chosen to buy the rights to air the original show in the US or use the characters to create new situations.
I liken it to going to see The Producers on Broadway each time the cast changes. Most of us are already tired of the endless movie re-makes. We know what’s going to happen, we saw the classic so why waste our time watching the same story with new faces.
What’s next? Survivor 1 remakes with John Travolta staring as Richard Hatch and Ryan Seacrest as Jeff Probst?
It’s not like Los Angeles isn’t full of creative types perfectly capable of creating an original concept for a sitcom. But then again, these studio executives see six characters who have all dated each other as a recipe for success.
As per usual, I’ll sit back this fall and watch how this unfolds.
elsewhere: check out a second engine, it's better than the first
Posted by Moxie at 8:33 PM | Comments (21)
the secrets are out
This is one of the funniest things I've read in a long, long time!
The blogger A List. All is revealed about many of your favorite writers.
So go! You should read it too!
Posted by Moxie at 10:43 AM | Comments (3)
July 27, 2003
fear factors
This weekend was pretty crazy. A good friend of mine in the Hollywood Hills called me on my shoe phone at 2 AM on Saturday night – The Wilson Brothers were there and refused to leave until I came by to say hello.
I know she met them at one of my parties, but I didn’t think they were that tight so I figured she was kidding. That was before I talked to them. Let me say one thing is true -- two brothers mixed with a bottle of Jack Daniels doesn’t make for a pretty phone call.
They wanted to have another of their friends fly all of us out to Vegas, right at that moment. Assuring them that more drinking would only lead to other disasters like their transvestite hooker episode a few days after my birthday this year, I asked them to have their driver bring them over to my place.
Owen went right for my underwear drawer while Luke and I mixed up some bloody mary’s for the premature hangovers that also entered Casa Mox along with the two of them.
Eventually Owen came down wearing one of my bras and brought up the whole Kobe Bryant incident. He thinks his accuser should say, “I was preparing for a role in my University’s stage adaptation of The Virgin Suicides.” That would be a good explanation for her suicide attempts.
“Will you write that on your website, Moxie,” he slurred and then picked up Bentley threw him over his shoulder and began to waltz to some 50 cent. He asked me where my hot girlfriend friend Tran was, and I had to explain to him that Tran was a man that he picked up for a 20 on Hollywood boulevard.
Silly boys. Owen grew upset upon learning that I don’t have cable – he wanted to watch some Thirtysomething. And it made me realize if that show were produced in the present day, it would be a cross between Friends, Sex in the City and Coupling. Being thirty-something doesn’t conjure the same images it did in the late 80’s.
If my life were a sitcom, it would have been cancelled 10 episodes ago. No one wants to see a cross between Fear factor and Friends.
a blog new to me: woodsprite
Posted by Moxie at 7:42 PM | Comments (9)
July 26, 2003
So sorry
I took a lazy afternoon nap and when I woke up, my blog had disappeared.
So no, I did not delete entries, comments and such.
After a little tweaking, I've got it sort of working -- individual archives aren't working, but I've found a few PHP things I could have been doing in a more up-to-date manner and that seems to be clearing things up as I edit and republish.
But of course, I apologize for the mess. Bear with me. Fortunately, I have everything backed up except for recent comments.
Posted by Moxie at 5:22 PM | Comments (5)
July 24, 2003
mid summer
Summer is my favorite season and it seems to be fleeting while winter drags on like a never ending nightmare.
The warm weather always brings back good memories, and I was sitting here in Casa Mox tonight missing the sound of jiffy pop on the stove. Remember the popcorn that you cooked in a foil covered tin pan, shaking and jiving it over the stove burner until you thought your arm was about to fall off?
Microwave popcorn doesn't have the same appeal, somehow. The smells are similar but the actual work to get the kernels popped is effortless and somehow meaningless.
My Mum would always pop the corn, while my Grandma, Aunts and a young mox and her little cousins would sit at the kitchen table. I'd shake the scrabble letters in that gray plastic bag in time with the jiffy pop Mum was rattling and shaking on the stove. Carefully spilling the letters as she poured the popcorn into a big plastic bowl, I'd make sure every letter was overturned. And then scramble them again on the table.
My cousins and I were convinced that the older folks always won not because they had superior vocabularies, but because they somehow knew where all the good letters were when they picked their initial seven.
Tonight the cats decided they didn't like their litter box and crapped on the floor. I thanked god that it wasn't the bath tub. After cleaning it up I then went to the store to see if I could buy a different litter that would be pleasing to their royal asses.
Regretfully, I picked a super expensive brand -- they like anything that is either black in color or exorbitantly pricey. To console myself, I walked through the fruit and produce department. Stopping dead in my tracks, I almost cried when I saw gooseberries.
Used to pick them off a bush in my Grandparent's backyard during the summer -- I'd grab as many as my hands could hold and eventually pile them in my skirt, which I would pull up just enough to hold the berries. Without fail, I'd eat them all before I could carry the harvest back to the house.
So tonight I had some ice cream with gooseberries, red currants and black berries. Now I'm off to play scrabble. On the internet of course.
Elsewhere: check out Katie who recently got engaged to a wonderful man, Matthew!! Congrats you two!!
Posted by Moxie at 5:48 PM
July 23, 2003
advice for john kerry
Senator Kerry, I think it's never too early to consider choosing a running mate, in the event that you make it past the primaries. Sometimes the obvious choice is as easy as looking in the mirror....
Posted by Moxie at 5:56 PM
Paternity question in Iraq
Mosul, Iraq -- Oday and Qusay’s bodies were flown out of Iraq today, presumably for DNA testing and eventual burial with pork by-products. Donald Rumsfeld indicated in a top secret phone call to Moxie headquarters that the UN considered a last minute resolution which would require the bodies cremated, mixed with manure and then buried with pork by-products. The French vetoed.
Shortly thereafter the Eiffel tower spontaneously combusted.
My sources say that the Hussein boy’s are being DNA tested not because their identity is in question, but rather that Jerry Springer received an anonymous tip from Tikrit last week via the internet. The tipster hinted that Saddam may not be their father at all. Sources say Saddam’s wife was involved in an illicit affair in a back alley opium den almost 40 years ago with a foreign journalist. After getting a little tipsy, she mistook him for her evil dictator husband and after the sexual acts took place he kindly drew her a map to get her back to the palace.
Springer is currently scrambling to buy the rights to have the Hussein’s DNA test results featured on his next show, “Honey, I had an affair and I’m not sure these are your evil heirs.”
A producer for the Jerry Springer show, who asked not to be identified, revealed that preliminary DNA tests have indicated that the boys are not Saddam’s children at all, but seem to have strong genetic resemblance to one Geraldo Rivera.
Updates pending.
Posted by Moxie at 5:54 PM
July 22, 2003
lipstick
The fun never ends with Leo -- the now infamous Hard Worker at the corner store. Tonight I popped in to buy some wine and he said, “Moxie don’t EVER get married.”
My jaw dropped since he has very recently mentioned not having a girlfriend “right now” and some other things that led me to believe he was unmarried.
“you’re married?” I asked.
“Yes and my wife just really pissed me off. She’s home with our kids and…”
“KIDS, Leo?” and I’m pretty sure I raised my voice. I’m not a big fan of infidelity, not even on the basic uncommitted relationship level. He pulled out his wallet and showed me pictures. A family portrait. Beautiful kids. Beautiful wife.
“How long have you been married?” I asked
“Years, and just take my word for it, don’t ever get married,” he said with emphasis.
I laughed and said my Grandma who was married for over 50 years had given me the same advice before she died and that I pretty much planned to take it.
A wrinkled woman in her mid 40’s with a black eye, home-bleached blonde feathered hair and huge tattoo on her arm was standing behind me said,
“That’s too bad, I was just going to ask you to marry me.”
Of course at this point I’m thinking about what I have on, do I look that butch? Or did she peg me as the neighborhood lipstick lesbian?
“I’d make a great wife,” she said as she winked her swollen black eye and handed over a 100 dollar bill for a pack of Marlboro reds and a jug of clorox. Silently, I wondered if she was going to use that to touch up her roots. I noticed that she was also wearing a wife beater and she vaguely reminded me of a man I know.
Leo greeted her by name, so I decided to play, “Would that make me your husband?”
“No traditional roles with me Sweetie. But I cook well,” she said as if that should make it all crystal clear.
“I think that would give my Mum a heart attack,” I said
“You’ve got 8 hours to think it over. Just sleep on it doll,” she winked and walked out of the store.
I gave it about eight seconds.
Marrying a 40 year old tattooed woman with a black eye and as a result causing the premature death of an otherwise healthy parent?
No thanks. I much prefer men. At least then, I’m the only one who suffers.
elswhere: sofia side show
Posted by Moxie at 9:45 AM | Comments (2)
20 greatest figures in American history
Thanks to a link from The Spoons Experience I became aware of this post from Meryl Yourish, wherein she expresses grave disappointment that not one woman made the top 20 list on John Hawkins, 20 greatest American figures survey. I agree that it was a sad situation.
For the record, I participated in that survey and I had FIVE women listed:
-> Rosa Parks
-> Oprah Winfrey
-> Gloria Steinem
-> J Lo (for her great American "figure" of course, since John specified "greatest American figure" was up to our own interpretation)
-> Nellie Bly
A couple of whom Meryl also listed. Our two votes weren't enough to make it an honorable mention, it seems.
I considered listing only women (some of whom I don't agree with politically, but were/are influential anyway),
Betsy Ross, Eleanor Roosevelt, Madeleine Korbel Albright, Amelia Earhart , Ruth Bader Ginsburg , Major General Jeanne Holm USAF (Ret.) , Harriet Tubman, Helen Keller, Mary Lyon, Hillary Clinton, Sandra Day O'Connor, Annie Oakley, Janet Reno, Sally Ride, Margaret Sanger, Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Brigadier General Wilma Vaught USAF (Ret.) , Lucille Ball, Condi Rice, Clara Barton, Abigail Adams, Audrey Hepburn, Geraldine Ferraro, Marilyn Monroe, and even Jackie O. All for different reasons.
Of course, while I love me some John Hawkins, I dare say his response was a bit offensive.
"it needs to be said; the reason why there are no women on the list is because none of them deserved to make it."
Does Rosa Parks deserve to bump Harry Truman from the list? For the African American's who can now sit on a bus or drink from the same water fountain as us pasty honkies? For anyone of any color, creed or working brain cell or conscience? Absolutely. Without a doubt.
Should Nellie Bly, female investigative journalist extraordinare or even Pearl S. Buck bump Mark Twain? You betcha. No contest.
I dare say here, the gender bias on the final list comes from who responded.
How many males? How many females? Who writes the history books? Women tend to be more aware of other great women than men would.
As far as women have come in this world, we are still discounted when it comes to our accomplishments. For the same job, we are paid less, yet we are expected to bear children for the men, we are expected to rear those children and these days also hold down a job and have careers, dreams, hobbies and goals.
Oh yeah, and we are expected to do all that while having a week or two each month where our bodies are revolting in painful physical screams and spasms. AND we should always look like a sex kitten, beautiful, perfect, sexy and ready for anything the man wants.
Raising a kid alone is a full time job. We women are still only coming into our own. Someday men will see the woman in their life as the most incredible woman who ever lived, maybe he'll even see the female public figures as better than Douglass.
I'm no feminist, I like a guy to open a door for me or pay for dinner on a date. Afterall, I may someday go through the pain of childbirth to bear him an heir. Opening a door is a least he can do.
But I'm going to resort to a cliché, if men had to do a woman's job -- civilization would have died out decades ago.
UPDATE: Moxie-Mom just weighed in over the telephone from the east coast. She said, "Amen, Mox. Men can only focus on one thing at a time, typically intellectual pursuits. Women are capable of excelling at intellectual pursuits while being nurturing, loving, creative and picking up socks, changing diapers and cooking dinner all at one time. Women are the stronger gender. They can handle 5 simultaneous jobs while men can barely manage one."
The greatest woman blogger I know: Dawn Olsen, who says proudly Up Yours!
Posted by Moxie at 2:07 AM | Comments (20)
July 20, 2003
smaller than the others
People have been asking me to talk about my Seabiscuit.
Some girls have even written to tell me they’d like a ride.
I’m so flattered but being a shy type, I don’t usually like to talk about my Seabiscuit. As a guy, it's kind of embarrassing that my stallion is smaller than other men's.
And hard for me to control.
I think that kind of stuff is a private thing between a man and his right hand.
Since, ironically I also have a movie coming out with the same name as my male member I thought maybe I could talk about the movie instead.
Last summer people were worried, their thoughts being that if I didn’t lose my pre pubescent voice and bulk up my career would be over. Now I can laugh at that.
Sure, it was kind of a shock after playing big strong Spiderman to be cast as a scrawny little jockey.
The producers stipulated that I had to lose some weight for the role but dropping 3 lbs was a snap. I've pretty much been watching my girly figure for a while now.
The movie's tagline is "You are never too far behind to come back" and I really identify with that. Oprah and I talked about that the other day on her show. Boy, I love watching Oprah, being on the show was such a thrill. Oprah gets me.
I really liked working with Jeff Bridges, he’s such a manly man I was able to learn a lot. You know, that guy was The Dude, right? The dude abides.
My only regret is that I didn't get to ride bareback. But I know a blogger guy named Andy who does.
knows way more about horses: Jo from seething
Posted by Moxie at 12:37 PM | Comments (16)
July 18, 2003
I had a dream about war
Had a dream last night that I was an evil dictator with a huge moustache in an arid middle-eastern land with loads of weapons that fit that dog-gone mass destruction category. Had months and months notice that the big bad American cowboy was sending his huge armies.
I sat down with my gay lovers and thought about what to do. I thought, how can I discredit this fine president of the American fucking capitalist states?
Since I wouldn't be able to expose his sexual activites with an intern, and he seemed to be an upstanding guy despite the hard work of Democrats grasping at straws...being a smart evil dictator, I ordered the weapons to be destroyed.
Without a trace. Wasn't that a movie? I liked that movie, but ask my lover for confirmation.
Sure some were destroyed publicly in accordance with UN mandates before the war however the other more lethal stuff was hidden, destroyed and buried within a land mass about the size of the state of California.
Those American's can't find the meth labs right under their own noses in Los Angeles county alone, how would they find my anthrax, VX and botox in unfamiliar terrirtory?
Besides, I need all that botox for myself, and don't even think about my black hair dye plant. F you.
Then I told my army not to fight too much, because the real war would come via guerrilla warfare after the official war was in the books. If you can't fight fair, fight however you can, ever after the fact.
My plan was two pronged. Seems those silly Democrats are playing right into my plan. I know those Dems would never have the balls to try and take me out. Partisan politics....that's the way to break down a country, discredit a President. So simple. I'm shocked at all the controversy. Silly Americans. And foolish idiots in the press for spending so much time wondering where all those weapons are right now. Should have checked my trash before it headed for the Baghdad dump.
good reading: peach on the beach
Posted by Moxie at 12:19 AM | Comments (42)
July 17, 2003
The W hotel
Some people have emailed to ask why I’m not updating as much. To them I say, hey -- it’s summer -- too hot to be inside when there are pools, flowers, palm trees and beaches nearby.
Early this afternoon I sat myself on a big soft chair by the pool at the W hotel with the historical books I need to read for research in order to complete my own book. Sure it was work but I also had handsome men serving me drinks and lunch, a snack and then more drinks after I'd cooled off in the water. It was all good.
Later in the afternoon a new friend invited me to his poolside cabana and we had catered meals, copious drinks and manservants to wipe our perspiring brows, not to mention hair people to condition, dry and style our hair after each visit to the pool. Paparazzi are everywhere after all. Did I mention the bottomless drinks? I was driven home in a limo, and another guy drove my car and parked it right outside my pad. Rang my doorbell to drop off the keys and left. Now that's living like a celebrity.
Sure, the guy I met at the pool is well known. Sure he’s an eligible bachelor, but not a playboy at all and only one of us asked for the other’s email/phone number before I left in the limo with one of his bodyguards. How 2003 was that whole exchange? If it were the 60's the afternoon would have ended in a mess of of sex, drugs and rock and roll. Instead I could tell my Mum about it without any secrets.
He gave me his personal contact info and his publicist’s contact info and asked me for mine.
“How do you know I’m not sunbathing with you because you are famous?” I asked.
and he said
”I can just tell. Your tone and no one has been less impressed by me than you. Besides, how do you know I’m not trying to meet you just because of your website?”
Not quite the same thing, I told him. But I did give him a vague tip as to how to find me. All in all a nice summer day. I love LA. Full of promise and adventure, even when you aren't expecting it.
elsewhere: la observed
Posted by Moxie at 12:49 AM | Comments (11)
July 14, 2003
Things I should have done this weekend but didn’t
1) Caved in on Michael Vartan’s begging and pleading and had a torrid weekend love affair.
2) Trained my cats to clean their own litterbox because this human shit scooper is on strike. Don’t worry Phoebe left a big smoking turd in my bathtub to let me know how she feels about the whole situation. Amazing how one little turd speaks volumes.
3) Ordered the ass-bra for all my X boyfriends. Rush delivery, of course.
4) Taxes. Seems like just yesterday that I filed for a three month extension. Plenty of time to get it done, right? I could be blogging from prison in just a few short weeks. My one hope is that I can share a cell with Martha.
5) Written and sold a best seller. Really, being a starving artist isn’t all romantic and stuff the way it seems in the movies. But then again, if we didn't perpetuate the stereotypes, what fun would it be to write, bitch and moan while drinking cheap wine?
6) Woke up early and wrote something for my web site. Oh wait, I just did that.
And you?
always interesting: Brian
Posted by Moxie at 5:00 AM | Comments (13)
July 11, 2003
capitalist lion
This is likely my last post until Sunday night.
So please do check out the most handsome and right headed Lion there is: Capitalist Lion.
All the fine women are on his jammie.
Posted by Moxie at 7:40 PM | Comments (3)
I've been lame about posting
And just on a lark i decided to check in on how my ads were faring. Sure, it changes every hour, but the first time I looked, all three best click throughs were from Moxie.
So, just wanted to thank you guys for clicking on the advertisers, who spend good money to get their name out.
I'd like to thank today's generous tipper who wishes not to be named, but also I wanted to thank everyone else for checking out the ads.
visit: blogads.com, the best solution for penniless bloggers. (And though I'm not listed right now due to slower summer publishing, you can still order by clicking on the link at the bottom of my adstrip)
Posted by Moxie at 7:25 PM | Comments (2)
bigger picture
A few months ago I went to this art opening where all the photographs were kind of like this one I took today. Sometimes though the entire photo was just red, or yellow with a a blue stripe.
Dang things were selling for a couple grand a piece, spoke with the photographer and he said they were so cheap because he wanted young people to be able to collect art. Noble.
For some reason, I think about those photos a lot.
Probably because it was a "kick-me" moment -- he's making money by selling blurry close up photographs of "things" that looked even cooler after a few free glasses of wine.
On second thought maybe I've thought about them because I always like to look at things up close, notice the details that many others might not take the time to note.
Someone asked me yesterday what I liked best about the appearance of this guy I used to date. It would have been really easy to say it was his smile, hair or big baby blues but really the thing I liked most was the way his eyes crinkled in the outer corner when he smiled or laughed. The freckles on his back and a hard-to-describe spot on his neck were a close second and third.
The little things always stick with me longest.
So, let me introduce to you my ficus tree and livingroom drapes. If you look closely enough you can see the bigger picture.
elsewhere: unkl buck
Posted by Moxie at 3:05 PM | Comments (4)
July 10, 2003
good news
Everyone knows women like men who are jerks. Seems the converse may also be true.
Venomous bitches who bite make men hard.
Who knew?
Posted by Moxie at 4:19 PM | Comments (10)
Mox Rerun: August 19,2002
10 years of litter box management experience
People who say that the economy is picking up are full of shit. Looking for a job is tough right now. This morning I was contacted to interview for a program manager position.
Here’s the job description:
We are looking for a Program Manager/Director of Project Management to oversee all phases of project development for 10 concurrent custom web-based development projects. Prior management experience desired, this position will have 12 direct reports. Required: College degree from highly respected college or university, MBA a bonus, at least 10 years Internet or software project management experience. Ability to program HTML, PHP and Javascript desired.
Sounded pretty good so I call the guy back and he wants 5 writing samples as well as days/times I am available for a 60 minute phone interview. I have a policy of requesting the salary range for a job before I spend a minute of my time charming them. This comes after I wasted an entire week last month interviewing with a company only to find out the pay check wouldn’t even cover my gas to and from the office which was an hour and a half away.
Me:
It would be great to have an idea of the salary for that position in order to determine if this might be a fit for both of us
Him:
What are YOUR salary requirements?
Me:
I’d like you to make me a millionaire
Him:
Heh
Me:
I’m fairly flexible within reason. In the past I’ve spent a lot of time interviewing only to find that our ideas of fair compensation were at opposite ends of the spectrum
Him:
I understand. We are budgeted at 35K
Me:
A YEAR?
Him:
I might be able to get them to up to 38K
Me:
You want an MBA with 10 years experience to accept a management position for 38K?
Him:
Yes. Ideally 35K
Me:
I’m sorry did you say 35 to 38 thousand dollars a year?
Him:
That’s correct
Me:
That’s insane
Him:
I know.
Me:
I’ll pass
Him:
You and everybody else who thinks to ask before interviewing
Me:
I’ve already sold my soul to the devil
Him:
Mine's on consignment
Me:
Who crafted this brilliant budget?
Him:
The CEO
Me:
I bet he makes 10 times that salary
Him:
He makes that in one month.
Me:
My cousin Mackenzie just graduated college, I can have her send you a resume
Him:
Okay
Me:
My cats are also available at that rate. Two for one. They have excellent litter box management skills.
Him:
That’s about right
Me:
Have a great one
Him:
You too.
Sigh!
Posted by Moxie at 11:47 AM | Comments (17)
July 8, 2003
I've given birth
After being out for the holiday week stretch, I received an email tonight from a new blogger -- I'm a blogmother!
Please welcome Ken Wheaton, and light up a cigar.
Since I'm pretty sure this stagnant blog wasn't pregnant, I'm very happy with the easy unexpected pregnancy. Let some other blogger weather the stretch marks.
Seems that would be one Mr. Lileks. I've never procreated with him before.
Just as I said after I mothered my now grown up Ginger (I'm so proud of her) and Lynn (an amazing man with fantastic grandkids) both of whom I believe were fathered by Glenn Reynolds....and at the risk of sounding a little tawdry a la, "Jerry Springer" I don't recall the act but damn,
I just hope I was good ;)
Posted by Moxie at 12:30 AM | Comments (13)
July 2, 2003
up mine
I've always wished my blog had a cool tagline like Dawn Olsen's "Up Yours and other helpful tips." Her blog vanished and I spent the wee hours of last night and early this morning setting her up again. While I typically hate anything I do in terms of design, I am perversely pleased with my up yours logo creation.
Stop by and say hi to Dawn in her new digs!
Posted by Moxie at 11:30 AM | Comments (9)
