« September 2004 | Main | November 2004 »
October 28, 2004
coming soon -- I am a Liberal
{click image to enlarge}
Posted by Moxie at 1:25 AM | Comments (16)
October 25, 2004
because cathy's way is better
The inimitable Cathy Seipp has a great post up that I insist you read.
And it saves me from having to re-type something she describes better than I ever could even on my best day. (Side note: normally I'd give it a try anyway, however I'm currently suffering from back pain, shortage of time, a cold/flu thing and Nyquil withdrawal).
Posted by Moxie at 2:00 AM | Comments (17)
October 21, 2004
recount*
I think I've finally figured out what John "my pretty pony" Edwards is talking about when he speaks of two Americas, though I believe he made an arithmetic error. Granted, I need an abacus for basic math, but after several Supreme Court enforced recounts -- I'm still finding three.
Posted by Moxie at 6:41 PM | Comments (15)
not so quick re-appearance
I hope you all are loving Steve H. as much as I do. Today I told Steve flat out -- I enjoy my own site much more when he is writing it. Regardless, I wanted to pop in and rant about -- what else -- Democratic hypocrisy. No matter how busy I am, this crap builds up. Clinton, a heart patient gets a flu shot. That's A-OKAY. However Cheney, also a heart patient gets one and Houston, there is a problem. Largely with with the Kerry campaign's reaction. They'd much rather see our Vice President get deathly ill than receive a flu shot. One must wonder if they would feel this way if there was (god help us) a Democrat in office. For some reason I doubt it. I suppose we should be reserving flu shots for those who eat garbage (and vote Dem) and/or those who live off my tax dollars, like Teresa Heinz Kerry. 12% federal taxes? Not too many years ago I earned next to nothing and paid more than that. The kicker is of course, her franken-hubby gets up and talks about how the middle class is paying thePosted by Moxie at 3:03 AM | Comments (25)
October 20, 2004
Brief Convo With the D-Ster
Riffing on Denny Miller's Curious Begley Bent Like the rest of you, I was disappointed that Moxie wasn't allowed to talk more during her recent appearance on The Dennis Miller Show. Yesterday, I spoke to Miller by phone, and he explained his disappointing performance. Me: So Denny, BABE, what's the 411 on the Mox deal? You let Ed Begley Jr. ramble like Spalding Gray after ten lines of Bolivian flake. Dígame, babe. Hep me to your modus operandi. Denny: Let me respond with a resounding "mea maxima culpa, babe-us." There's something about the Beg-man I just can't resist. The piercing eyes, the striking demi-albinism, the neo-Quixotic fascination with windmills, the untainted, pre-Reaganesque liberalism...the cat is totally unspoiled, like an undiscovered Grandma Moses in a hemp blazer. I'm as straight as they come, but frankly, the man puts a lump in my Loro Pianas. Me: I grok, mein herr, I grok. It's one of those chiaroscuro, yin-yang type of deals. You see the Begster as a sort of Stalinist Lite doppelganger to your Neocon William S. Burroughs. Denny: Da, tovarisch. When Bel Air's Pale Prius Rider, St. Elsewhere's Ecological Essene, starts laying the smack down on nukes and gas-guzzling SUV's, this conservate cowboy feels like saddling up and pointing his Palomino toward the Kyoto Corral. Me: What the hell are you smoking? Are you out of your goddamn mind? Denny: Que es, hombre? That change of tone was as startling as anything I've heard while Ipoding a Scriabin sonata! Me: Windmills? Priuses? Dude, we discovered our new miracle energy source sixty years ago. It's called URANIUM. Why are you wasting counter space on a pigment-challenged propagandist living in the nineteenth century? Are you conservative or NOT? Five minutes after the discussion started, you were so far up Begley's butt, all I could see were your shoes! Denny: I still want to be cool! I live in L.A.! Hardly anyone talks to me! I want to be invited to parties! Me: Learn to love being hated by pinheads, okay? It's the conservative way. And next time you have a hot, funny right-wing chick on your panel, make good use of her and then have Begley on later to make balloon animals. Denny: Okay. Me: ENDANGERED balloon animals. That ought to pacify him. You know...sqeak, squeak, squeak..."California condor." Denny: Okay. Me: And don't EVER let me catch you calling anyone "cat" again. Denny: Not even Yousuf Islam? Me: Except him. Verstehen Sie? Denny: Yo comprendo. All right, I led him to water. Let's see if he quaffs the Pellegrino.Posted by Moxie at 8:28 AM | Comments (8)
October 19, 2004
Hey Guys
I just wanted to remind everyone that I have perfect little perky breasts, a firm round ass you could chip a tooth on, and a pretty pink mouth that will send your fantasies into overdrive. Unfortunately, I'm not Moxie. Don't you love guest bloggers?Posted by Moxie at 12:39 PM | Comments (18)
You can't spell nuisance without nuance
I have to be honest -- I'm tired of talking about politics. Everywhere I turn the unwashed liberals (who are hell bent on taxing my ass and living off my dime) are spouting what passes for "facts" about this administration. Living in Los Angeles, I've grown accustomed to the very loose definition of factual information (employed by the largely public school uneducated proletariat I am forced to support financially). When you are a homeless intellectual you don't need to know the truth. You make it up as you go along, then you play with your own feces and vote Democrat. My liberal readers comment on how I only use the strawmen as examples. Thing is, that's all the left has to offer. While it sounds harsh, it is indisputably true. Look at their role models. Affleck. Garafaolo. Stewart. Streisand. Franken. Moore. Then we have the greatest hits line-up of anchormen. Rather, Brokaw, Jennings. They "report" that Kerry won all three debates? No really. Unanimously in a poll taken of 600 libshits! And the Breck girl who surely went back to his dressing room to cry, bitch slapped Cheney's ass? Not in MY America. Which, by the way is called "reality". Here is what would cheer me up -- if the liberals would finally shut up. They don't like freedom of speech anyway. Not unless you are in favor of the Tidy Bowl men. Their idea of free speech is simple: Unless you kill babies for sport, shut up. Unless you'd rather remove a feeding tube from a hospital patient than kill a soft, fluffy bunny, shut up. Unless you want to spit-polish Osama bin Laden's boots, shut up. Unless you want to cornhole the French, Germans and Russians, shut up. Vegan, odiferous, pinko commies. All of them. The upside of a Kerry victory will be his administration's motto. "You can't spell nuisance without nuance." I bet the terrorists are strapping on their bomb belts in anticipation of the free pass they're counting on the media-brainwashed American liberals to hand them. {I'm off to work on my book. Steve H. of HogOnIce fame has been given a log on. If you behave, he'll entertain you in my absence.}Posted by Moxie at 11:30 AM | Comments (26)
October 16, 2004
poetic
Posted by Moxie at 1:29 AM | Comments (28)
October 15, 2004
Why libs hate (part 1)
I have a friend who is really sweet, intelligent and genuinely confused (politically, that is). He asked me why liberals hate our fearless leader, George W. Bush so fervently.
Honestly, I had to think about this for a bit. How can one person condense a half-nation’s worth of hatred for what is good, moral and just into just a few sentences?
I can’t.
And part one of a diatribe follows.
They (hairy, odiferous liberals) hate our magnificent leader because he represents everything they despise. Dubya, like all good conservatives wants everyone to be capable of earning their own dinner.
Namely, working for a living instead of sucking the teat of their neighbor.
I’m pretty sure the bit in the bible about, “Love thy neighbor” had nothing to do with living off one's neighbor’s blood, sweat and tears. Nor his checkbook.
Then again, liberals are notoriously against anything moral.
Look at Slick Willy and his Oliver Willis, I mean Oval Office blow jobs. Look no further than the ambulance chasing John Edwards, who then proselytizes about how he'll fix the high costs of health care! Irony at its best.
Oh, and take a gander at present-day John Kerry who still, at age 60 breast-feeds off the Ketchup Queen’s dead (Republican) husband’s bank account. Yes, he married up. And puckered up. There's nothing like a nipple that brings forth cash. At least for a libshit asshat like J For-the-teat K.
It’s much easier to live off someone else than to actually work.
Or be present in the Senate when something you allegedly-support is up for a vote. Libs want to rock the vote, you know. That means being absent, if you didn't already notice. Look at the liberal (and absent) role-models Kerry and Edwards.
Liberals despise anyone who does the best with what they have. Those creative coalition liberals depend on keeping the crack ho’s, the homeless, the drug addicts and the welfare momma's (who have more kids because their entitlements will increase) on their side.
Keep them ‘po and uneducated. Then they'll be your voting base, because they are too uninformed (thanks to the liberal media) to know better.
What those ‘po folks don’t realize is that the political right wants to teach them to provide for themselves. We want them to succeed. We want them to take advantage of Capitalism. To have what we have.
Do you follow the losers? Or emulate the winners? Fake until you make it.
I’m no bible thumper, in fact I don't even believe in god (perhaps he's on hiatus if he does exist) but the lessons given therein are largely true.
Give a man a fish, he eats for day (and votes Democratic), teach a man to fish and he eats forever.
As long as the lazy feel empowered by entitlements and social services, they'll vote for dickless schmucks like John "douchebag" Kerry. Once they learn, and EARN -- they'll be Republicans forever.
Posted by Moxie at 12:29 AM | Comments (44)
October 14, 2004
where I have been
Posted by Moxie at 9:13 PM | Comments (13)
October 8, 2004
2nd Presidential debate
I'd drunk blog it, but I'm enjoying the Dom Perignon too much. You should all be tuning in to watch Bush make Kerry sweat. Our boy clearly got some debate tips from Cheney. He's in his element. More here much later tonight. If you can't wait, check out Hugh Hewitt who is doing a better job than I ever could. UPDATE: I just can't get past Kerry's hair helmet. I think that says it all. Next!Posted by Moxie at 7:05 PM | Comments (75)
building an international coalition
Posted by Moxie at 12:53 PM | Comments (24)
October 6, 2004
one john flushed: one to go
I had planned on live blogging the debates, but I got cozy with my life-sized Cheney doll and reaching for the laptop was just too much effort. If I've not mentioned it lately -- I love Dick Cheney. Those people who are calling this debate a draw, or an Edwards win, have obviously eaten too much vegan cuisine or even worse had a lobotomy. Most of the lemmings aren't even aware that their brains have been removed by incredulous scientists. Fact: the brains of most liberals (and many MSM journalists) are the size of a pea. The brain -- much like the legs of the female liberal -- is protected only by coarse, unwashed hair. Cheney mopped the floor, dusted the shelves and threw Little Litigating Johnny into the garbage. The fair and balanced side of me wished Cheney had been even tougher on Edward's billion dollar tush. But Little Johnny's face did turn 57 shades of red while Dick was ripping him a new asshole. On several occasions. A few VRWC members were gathered here at the compound for the event. My gay houseboy commented after serving us champagne and pausing to view Cheney's magnificence, that the debate was silly. He said, "If you have a good dick why bother to look for another?"Posted by Moxie at 1:48 AM | Comments (104)
October 5, 2004
lost: my mind
Misplaced gray matter, last seen: voting for Bush in Hollywood area. Reward!! Clearly, someone has been accepting public speaking advice from Ter RAZE ah. John Edwards: "I'd say if you live in the United States of America and you vote for George Bush, you've lost your mind." Count me in on the misplaced brain brigade. Unlike the rabid lefties, at least I have a mind of my own to lose. If voting for George W. Bush is "wrong" -- I don't want to be right.Posted by Moxie at 6:48 AM | Comments (31)
October 4, 2004
I am conservative; hear me roar
I'm really happy.
And I have a trend to note.
These days I've noticed, the bolder I get about telling perfect strangers that I am conservative, the more I hear the whispers back -- "You are? I am too."
The guy who works at the corner store. Friends. Family. Neighbors. People at the bar. It's an exclusive secret society -- you have to be cool AND smart to belong.
Sadly it takes someone pathetic like me to make them admit it.
And I'm more than willing to take a punch after admitting my stance.
Hell, tonight some liberal called me an f'ing bitch (because I asked him for specifics on why Dubya was a "giant jackass") he got violent when asked for facts.
I stayed calm.
Pointed to my chin (so he knew where to swing) and called his actions "typical liberal behavior" -- which surprisingly, is a characterization even a self-professed liberal doesn't appreciate.
Forget calling a spade a spade. "Liberal" is now an insult to actual liberals.
After being called the "c" word our fetus-gnawing libshit became even more irate when most of the group was on my side. Surprise surprise!!
For once I enjoy being wrong. There ARE more than 14 Republicans in LA.
It seems many others are afraid to wear it proudly until they see some scrawny blonde big mouth like me shouting it to the world.
"I am a REPUBLICAN! Hear me roar."
Nothing makes me happier than to be pro-life, pro-gun, pro-national security, pro-Bush.
Here in Los Angeles, it's not easy to buck the popular opinion.
But it's much less lonely when you come out of the closet.
I'd like to send a gift to any SoCal blogger who decides to come out of the closet.
Prove to me you are a reformed liberal and I'll figure something out.
Just get out of the closet!
Vote right.
Posted by Moxie at 12:19 AM | Comments (49)
October 2, 2004
liberal taming
Folks, I'm off to the pool to tame some unruly lefties in their natural habitat. The plan is to lure them to my chaise lounge using the latest technology in the fight against mis-information -- a newly acquired book: Michael Moore is a Big Fat Stupid White Man (thanks Jorge!). Things like that always get the American libshit's hemorrhoids a-flaring. The interesting part of this post is how the book arrived here at the Moxtopia compound. One morning -- at 7 AM, a time which is strictly used for cuddling with my life-sized Dick Cheney doll -- the doorbell rang. On the front step was an opened Amazon box. Apparently one of my pinko commie neighbors can't read (surprise, surprise), or decided what's mine is also theirs. Wish I had been a fly on the wall when Miss Liberal USA saw what she was trying to pilfer. The cover was crumpled into a ball and let the records show 7 AM is also the time the sprinklers go off. It's a good thing I was able to pry myself away from the bed and rescue my gift. Wish me luck on my mission. I hear the hairy Southern California Liberal can actually be quite docile while listening to Al Franken and gnawing on the arm of a 4 year old Bush supporter.Posted by Moxie at 1:17 PM | Comments (8)
October 1, 2004
jury of one
Like many people, I was surprised to learn last night that John Kerry was not only in the bowels of the KGB at Treblinka, but it was Nixon who ordered him there -- just after he spent Christmas in Cambodia. Fascinating. I learn new mis-information every time John Kerry opens his mouth. This man has such a vivid imagination. You kind of have to give him credit or a gold star for his colorful crayon drawings. Meanwhile, I watched the debate (twice) and think Bush was clearly the winner. Style is nice, if you are a fashionista on 5th Avenue but I deal with substance. If you are starving and prefer to break your fast with ballotine of free-range fois gras, with sea fennel coulis -- by all means vote for Kerry. Personally, I'd prefer a hamburger, a steak on the grill or a nice slice of apple pie. If you haven't been reading Hugh Hewitt, he has terrific commentary on why Bush did indeed win. My personal jury of one has deliberated and come to a unanimous verdict. Bush won. On substance. Fancy French stylings are for liberals, pacifists and those who think OBL is the only front in the war on terror.Posted by Moxie at 1:34 PM | Comments (27)
