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October 31, 2005
forgot to mention
I'm not sure why bloggers do this, but in the past I have and a small pat on the back is always nice in this thankless endeavor.
A few days ago my blog turned 5 years old. That's right, I'm old enough to be Instapundit's blog mother.
Go ahead give me props or better yet give me five hard slaps to the backside. I can take it.
Posted by Moxie at 9:39 PM | Comments (21)
I'm not one to say "I told you so"
Okay, so I am.
I told a number of friends weeks ago that Bush nominated Miers hoping she'd get through but if she didn't he'd spank the liberals with a really conservative follow-up pick and say, "how you like me now?"
Everyone told me I was crazy, Bush wouldn't put someone up with the intention of the nomination not going through. "What if it did go through?" they asked. Then he'd be happy, as he had tons of confidence in Harriett Miers.
Having only done a little bit of reading on "Scalito" the only thing I truly needed to know was if the liberals were frothing at the mouth. And indeed they do seem to be, so this is a great sign.
I bet the libzillas are thinking Harriett Miers is looking pretty damn good right about now...
The whole situation reminds me of the showcase showdown in The Price is Right. Sometimes after seeing the first showcase, the contestant would turn it down in favor of the mystery of showcase number two. Only to find out the first was so much better.
The far right, of course got what they wanted. We're pretty happy with what was behind door number two.
Posted by Moxie at 11:17 AM | Comments (10)
October 24, 2005
I'm amused at death for once
Iraqi "insurgents" have targeted a hotel popular with Western journalists. Sure, that's not news to you, you guys all read Drudge...but my question is:
Who's going to be the first to tell them...the majority of Western journos are on the "insurgent's" side?
"Hey Mohammad....let's get crazy and go blow ourselves up in front of the hotel where all those writers who HATE BUSH stay at."
"DUDE! Where's my car?"
UPDATE: Geraldo Rivera reports that his moustache shielded 8 people from the blast. ALL LIVED. He's Fox News' Sean Penn!
Posted by Moxie at 11:00 AM | Comments (11)
things i won't be writing about today...
- hurricanes
- the advantages of taking aspirin
- albino pre-op transexual bloggers
- the new federal reserve dude, Ben Bernanke
- John Basedow
- clubbing baby seals
- the singing nazi twins
- mighty mouth
- the difference between "marine layer" and "fog"
- harriet miers
- blokes
- coastal erosion nor global warming
And finally, I will not be writing about any topic that requires the use of the letters P, T, A or E.
You're welcome.
IMPORTANT UPDATE!!!:
Due to the thousands of emails I am receiving, I am forced to tell you today what I won't be blogging tomorrow. The two things I will not write about on October 25, 2005:
- Cindy Sheehan tying her creepy "my 15 minutes of fame are so over" body to the the White House fence.
- George W. Bush's planned invasion of Geraldo Rivera's moustache. I promised my life-sized Dick Cheney doll that I would not mention the invasion is all about THE OIL!
Posted by Moxie at 8:50 AM | Comments (10)
October 18, 2005
quick bite
I've been so busy aborting babies for sport today (I took out a lot of meskin triplets! With an improvised explosive device shoved up a cooch!), that I had hardly a moment to express my shock and dismay about this article.
Every American should be outraged at this. A woman with a penis could possibly erase our constitutional RIGHT to kill babies for no reason at all!!! It IS in the constitution, right? I'm sure one of my lefty readers can point a link.
If a woman can't kill her own babies, what is this world coming to? I'm dumbstruck -- it's the VRWC shock and awe, no doubt. Karl Rove, who controls the universe had some sleep apnea last night and in Los Angeles we had thunder and lightning.
Beware these crazy evangelical christians!!!!!!!
Global warming!
NO baby killing!!!
Lower taxes.
HUGE PRIUSES are the answer. I always like a guy with a huge prius.
Oh god, the horror of having a consistent policy on murder. I'll be unable to sleep tonight. GWB, bless me and help me sleep.
Posted by Moxie at 4:52 PM | Comments (9)
October 13, 2005
LA fetish snapshot -- part 1
the hairy maze
Posted by Moxie at 4:44 PM | Comments (17)
October 5, 2005
music as an art is dead
It's 93 degrees here today in Lost Angeles, 8% humidity. So all the windows are open, because it's actually quite lovely. Unless your nose tends to bleed from doing too much coke or if you have a delusional bleached blonde tranny lounge singer in the vicinity.
Some New York transplant in the low rent building next door to the compound is singing at sonic-boom level volume in her best "Christina Aguilara with a chronic yeast infection" voice. That skank's name might be spelled incorrectly, but she's not worth the effort it would take to look it up.
I'm a pretty reasonable woman. For instance, I recognize that as a woman the majority of my feelings and thoughts are (by nature) irrational. And I deal with it.
It also means I tend to speak my mind, for better or worse.
HER:
oooOOOOoooooOOOOOOooooh AhhhhhhhhAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. (clapping)
ME:
(shouting)
Please don't quit your day job, babe!
HER:
(silence)
NEW YORK GUY:
It is her gawd damn day jawb bitch!
ME:
Unfortunate for us.
HER:
You're just jealous!
ME:
Jealous that your whole section 8 apartment is as big as my closet? NOT LIKELY.
silence...
Fuck the poor, delusional, starving artists. If they worked harder they could have gotten good jobs at Burger King or be busy cleaning the toilets in a skyscraper downtown.
Posted by Moxie at 5:29 PM | Comments (23)
October 3, 2005
the great dismal swap
Like many others, I'm highly disappointed in GWB's choice for the Supreme Court. No, it's not Mier's lack of record, her donations to the evildoers also known as Democrats, her very unsexy first name, or even her unsightly undereye baggage (though I do wonder what she keeps in there). Looks roomy, no?
I'm mostly disappointed because in Karl Rove's memo to the VRWC, he hinted that the choice would be unconventional, this of course led me to believe it WOULD be me. Guess my correspondance school law degree wasn't fancy enough. One step below SMU. Can you imagine the shock facing the libzillas as they scoured this site?
Steve H. says Karl Rove would have been the best choice. Personally besides yours truly, I think Ann Coulter would have given 90% of liberals simultaneous strokes and heart attacks. The 10% that survived the announcement would kill themselves.
Justice Ann:
"Only Thomas and Scalia were with me on overturning Roe v. Wade, so I poisoned the rest of them with bitumen martinis."
----
During the summer, I planned to spend a lot more time writing on the site, and in addition planned to write more social commentary and stories from LA. That's still the plan, but tell it to the 25 unfinished entries sitting on my computer.
If there is anything I'm consistently good at, it's proscrastinating. And I have to work today. In the next three hours I need to get my car reregistered so I don't land in jail on my way there, drop off my already late rent check, pick up a new memory card for the camera, drop off my busted laptop, fill my car's tank with gas at a price above rubies, and I also need to take one of those shower things that liberals find so hard to manage.
Even with a publik skool education, you can see a few of these things won't get done before I have to photograph a bunch of people and feign being a total happy, friendly photographer chick.
I could be at Triple A getting my car registered. I could be in the shower. Instead, I'm sitting here typing.
Go figure.
----
Going to go sit in a pool of my own urine (I procrastinate about that too) and cry now.
Just like a liberal.
I think that's a fair and accurate representation of the left. And if there is anything I strive to be, it's fair to liberals.
----
Steve H. just pointed out that I have, in the above sentence, truly and genuinely reached out to liberals. And I have! I identify with them, even though I DID manage to shower today and make it to work in time.
Posted by Moxie at 11:40 AM | Comments (15)
