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September 27, 2006
project runway
If you are like me -- and read the end of the novel before the begining and middle -- you've probably peeked at the Olympus Fashion Week photos from Project Runway finalists.
In that line of thinking, I'm starting from the end of the episode.
Since we knew from last season which didn't end that long ago, all four designers go to Bryant Park with one designer as the ringer -- we were all wondering which one was auf'd. Laura was the only one who didn't show a swim suit, so that was the rumor around town.
The twist this season was that it was too close to call. All four continued in the competition after Wednesday night's show. This actually makes sense, if we forget Jeffrey is one of the four.
Uli won the challenge! She did something totally different with her typical ingredients. While I wasn't enthralled by Uli's dress, anyone could recognize she managed to do what the judges wanted. Of course she also bravely took her dress apart and started from scratch with only 5 hours left to complete it.
Laura did her gorgeous 1920's thing, with very slightly pinkish lace and beading. She's my favorite, but I do wish she'd have shown us something else. Perhaps more like her first challenge, the fur collared blue coat-dress? At this point Laura probably realizes she's going to have a great career, the career she wants with the clothes she wants to design. It hardly matters what Michael Kors, Heidi Klum or Nina Garcia think on the show.
Michael did step out of the box and designed an evening gown. You'd think this was a good thing, but of course the judges whined because he didn't do what he always does. Big babies, someone change their nappies. There is no pleasing Michael Kors and Nina Garcia sometimes.
Jeffrey said he had done something like this before, and it almost made people cry. Having looked at this retro Betsy Ross dress as well as his other clothing, I completely understand. Thing is, my tears are not the good kind. My eyes hurt.
They were to create anything that showcased their own style, but had to think editorially. Kind of boring, if you ask me. However it became more interesting -- well into the first day Tim Gunn pointed out that they shouldn't be predictable. Why didn't Nina just SAY that at the get-go? Is her English that bad?
So, they've already bought fabric and sketched designs, now the designers find out they should be themselves but surprisingly unlike themselves! Ok.
It would be nice to see the judges play along, "remember this is also a contest for the judges". Michael Kors talks like a straight man. Nina speaks with a German accent and Heidi sings like her husband Seal.
Not the best episode. Rather, it felt like a re-run of last week with new clothes added in digitally. Too bad they couldn't have brought back Malan Breton, I still miss his laugh.
Next week is the reunion show where they'll announce the fan favorite designer, and dish the dirt. Now THAT looks like fun!
Posted by Moxie at 9:24 PM | Comments (3)
September 24, 2006
clinton does the blowing
Wow, I'm kind of over Bill Clinton. But not in the sexual way. Ewww.
Okay, so Bill Clinton will always be an easy punching bag for me but watching him crap his pants on Fox News today was a new kind of high.
Better than drinking cocaine out of Dick Cheney's belly button.
I'm not sure what was more fun, observing the veins on Slick Willy's forehead throbbing and bulging out beyond his muppet-like eyes, or hearing the master of spin not having ANY decent answer to Chris Wallace's simple, viewer-based question.
Back before I entered grammar school there was a new math. But Slick Willy just created an even newer math.
8 months = 8 years
Let's clarify Big ole Bill of the exposed white calves' thinking, shall we? Eight months in office (if POTUS is member of VRWC) = Eight years in office (if you are an impeached President who lied under oath and invaded interns).
There is a lefty algorithm (no relation to Al Gore Rhythm, which has been disproven by numerous mathematicians, scientists and musicians) that deals with time spent with intern under desk vs time spent not protecting our country divided by bombing aspirin factories, wagging the dog AND multiplied by pretending to be black. Aren't you glad you read this site? I do all of this for the sake of science. For only pennies a day.
Sure, so now GWB and Slick Dick share equal blame, if we are using liberal logic, which is nothing more than hocus pocus. Listen to my southern drawl and behold my bulbous, moldy nose. Now get under my desk and blow me!
I was kind of hoping Bill would have SOMETHING. Anything. He was a great impeached President, right? He should be well qualified to calmly defend himself and his actions.
Instead he was stumped by a predictable question and resorted to hysterical, premenstrual accusations about the VAST RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY striking again. Doesn't Syphilis cause this type of delusional behavior?
Watching him again via DVR, I spotted the second strongest debate technique -- telling people to read a book on 9/11.
Newsflash, many of us HAVE read a number of books on 9/11 maybe even the one you suggest and you still have dirt under your fingernails and OBL's shit smeared across your face.
It's strange to watch someone who is obviously that bright and that innocent get flustered to the point of soiling his XXXL undergarments.
Because we all know, when we are innocent, it's ridiculously easy to explain things in a reasonable manner, or answer questions. There is no cause to get red faced and poke at the interviewer or his notes. It was the opposite of poker-face. This world-class liar was outwitted at last, and it doesn't even seem to be an official VRWC thing. At least I didn't get the memo, but maybe I was too busy running through the sprinklers this afternoon with Don Rumsfeld.
Slick Willy doesn't need a conservative hit job, that's too easy. Bill Clinton didn't get blown for a change, instead he did the blowing. Of his own facade.
Posted by Moxie at 11:15 PM | Comments (11)
September 20, 2006
the day you all have been waiting for
Okay, the blogroll is finally updated! And I hardly had to do a thing.
All the thanks and gratitude goes to Tony at Blah Blah Blog who handled this project for me. It was absolutely one of the nicest things imaginable -- opening an email before coffee one morning and finding this generous offer. Tinkering with the blogroll gives me heartburn and this was no small task.
So while I spend the next few days continuing in the ridiculously busy mode that is my life, please make sure to go visit Tony's blog. A lot. Because if it's not already on your reading list, you've been missing out.
Now go!!!
Posted by Moxie at 11:11 PM | Comments (10)
September 19, 2006
skinny model ban
Wow, lots of talk about scrawny ass-less models. Looks like we founnd a big ass, complete with a foot in her mouth.
Scarlett Johansson:
[is] more confident about her hourglass figure. "I'm curvy -- I'm never going to be 5'11' and 120 pounds. But I feel lucky to have what I've got."And, given the chance, she'd like to trade lives with President Bush. "Whose life would I like to step into for the day? The president's. I could probably get some things done in the Oval Office."
After the jump, I have a special futuristic picture, taken with a magic camera. It depicts one of those deplorable anorexic models from NY Olympus Fashion Week, you know, when Scarlett Johansson is in the Oval Office, getting "some things done".
We'd all be dressing like this, if it weren't for President Bush. God bless him. And Rove, Rumsfeld and Cheney. Most importantly, our brave soldiers.
Posted by Moxie at 3:49 AM | Comments (8)
hate the fakers, not the art
Look, I know I'm no Instapundit. People don't come to me for photo advice like they do him. But why would they? He's a law professor and I make my living mostly through photography.
Am I the best? No way. Do I have an MFA in photography? Fuck no, what a waste of money.
All I know how to do is capture what I see via the camera.
Fundamental knowledge of natural light, f stop, shutter speed and ISO are important. I have that, thanks to a few years of photography class in High School. My parents were beyond supportive of my artistic pursuits, when book study might have seemed more important. I am grateful for that. Luckily, my teacher in HS didn't tell us about composition, instead she taught us about how a camera works. Another thing to be grateful for.
People, like Ann Althouse take even better photos than I do and who knows if she has any training at all. Sometimes less is more!
The point is, some people take shitty photos and then make them "right" using software. (Or, a topic for another time -- people take okay photos with a point and shoot and ask for accolades.)
Taking good pictures isn't always a fake it 'til you make it situation.
What troubles me is how often people bother me, looking for praise over photos that are so manipulated in Photoshop that they only vaguely resemble the mess that came out of a fixed lens, point and shoot camera. "But, but, but ALL profesional photographers are doing it!!!!"
After trying to explain that professionals don't use point and shoot cameras of 4 megapixels, I eventually irritate myself more than the person I am lecturing.
The fact is, I really don't care if everyone out there who is a pro photographer re-makes their shots using software. These people can digitally manipulate all they want, it's just not for me.
Imagine how alarming it would be to have your photo taken at dusk, but get the file back and see the sky was was yellow, orange and bright red. And your wrinkles are gone! And your boyfriend is suddenly thinner, or more buff. Sure, it looks better, but was that how it really was?!
The photo I posted above is only resized and very slightly cropped. The light is exactly how it was -- yeah, kinda crappy. But that's what I saw, which is why I posted that instead of a better photo.
The bee was not re-colored, I didn't do anything to blur the background. That is the beautiful bokeh I get with my lens.
Could I make it better? Of course.
But why not try to take better photos instead of trying to fix them after the fact?
I look back at shots I took over the past 20 years and see major growth, and it has nothing to do with digital manipulation. In fact, I look at photos I took a few months ago and they aren't up to snuff with my newer ones.
I prefer to show my readers what I see and not send them on a trip, riding bareback on a bucking magic mushroom.
Someday I'd really like to learn about studio lighting and food photography, but for now I'm as much a purist as one can be while using a DSLR.
(By the way, I've killed a few of those bees pictured. The ones who made the unfortunate choice to seek refuge in my office. Puff Tatty did too, being the trained killer and all.)
Posted by Moxie at 12:40 AM | Comments (8)
more tits for hits
Click this, and then roll over!
Also, Jim has a very patient, fun loving wife. NSFW.
Posted by Moxie at 12:19 AM | Comments (2)
September 17, 2006
private email exchange
Dear Spinach,
I miss you, I really do. Sometimes when we met up it was hot and wet, and at other times it was chill. But it was always a memory worth savoring.
It's hard to forget you last week sprawled in front of me -- all covered in oil -- with crumbled bacon and tomato slices on your naughty bits.
Newscasters have been talking about you a lot lately, stressing that you are dirty and dangerous and how a sane woman would throw you out on the street. But to be honest, that just makes me want you more.
They showed your picture on TV and I swear you were sending me a secret media message. It was that wink in the photo, the way you were flexing your leafy greens.
For many years, you were so good for me and now I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to trust you again.
And while it's inappropriate to say, I keep thinking it would be so nice to have you in my house and of course, in my mouth.
Love,
Moxie
-------
Moxie:
You believe these leftest freaks on TV? Oh, ok. I thought you were a partner in the firm of Bush, McChimpy, Hitler and Rove.
So now I’m the dirty one and not that filthy bimbo Katie Couric. I get it.
Breaking news! Katie's got more e. coli on her perky ass than an entire fetid cow turd on one spinach leaf.
I hope you have bloody diarrhea, Moxie! And maybe kidney failure too.
Yours,
Spinach
Posted by Moxie at 1:14 AM | Comments (14)
September 13, 2006
Project Runway
I got sweaty nervous during this episode. The producers tend to show more footage of the designer about to be auf'd. Which makes sense, in terms of creating a storyline and they were showing a lot of Laura.
Then, later at a party, the challenge and two mystery guests were revealed. I didn't see this coming. Vincent and Angela were back, because they had won challenges. Okay, fine. The other designers got nervous and I didn't understand why. Neither Vincent nor Angela could design their way out of a paper bag, though it's worth noting some of Angela's clothes LOOK like paper bags.
The challenge was to design a black and white cocktail dress, and every last scrap of fabric had to be used. YAWN.
I guess if there was another theme to Wednesday's show, it would be "helping others".
Michael, while designing his own work of art, still found time to urge Kayne away from the "working girl" look. And Laura had her previewed breakdown. Later her model, Camille sweetly reminded her to keep it young. Why don't we see more of this? It's a competition for the models too!
Kayne, the back looked like a skin trampoline. The judges did the usual spiel about his taste level. Predictably, he's out.
Angela's actual dress was kind of charming, but her post-surgery plastic dog collar, or as she called it, "an Edwardian shrug" didn't make it work. She's out. Again.
Michael designed a sophisticated, off-the-shoulder white dress with a great embellished cummerbund waist. His clothes are lovely, he's a sweetheart on the show and hopefully we'll see him in the final three.
Vincent. His model Gia was involved in an accident and the replacement model was a lot bigger and taller. He had to win the challenge to stay, and while it wasn't as bad as his last upholstered nightmare, it was a big miss. Out, again.
Uli. Loved watching Michael Kors mock her accent during judging, though Heidi didn't seem to enjoy it.
The dress was typical of her style, kind of a rich, beach-dwelling pot smoking, hippie thing. As the judges noted the arms were too long, and I'm adding, really wide. Not flattering, even on her microscopic model. And to be practical those sleeves would get in the way of the wearer and her bong.
Jeffrey returned to his rock star thing. What that means is, after looking at his street-walker look, I had an urge to take some antibiotics, get an HIV test and remember to wear a body condom before next week's show.
Kayne's garb was bad, but this was the epitome of 1980's hooker, complete with abrasive NY accent. Can clothes talk? YES! Maybe if Jeffrey wins this, he can take some of the dough and buy himself a chin and a better personality.
Laura, one of my two favorite designers created a baby doll dress of white fabric covered in black lace. It was youthful, had a cool 1920's flair and looked incredibly expensive. She won the challenge and it's about damn time!
Pregnant at age 42, Laura is an example of why men like women. She's creative and successful, has 5 kids and refuses to slip into the messy hair, no makeup and sweatpants thing. Bless her.
Next week I'm expecting to see Uli go, but if there is a god it will be that fuckhead Jeffrey.
Posted by Moxie at 9:17 PM | Comments (11)
September 12, 2006
rack science
Hopefully you all have accepted that as a former scientist, I can't resist this kind of thing.
Steve H. has noted, many women in the blogosphere have rejected Atlas Juggs for over-boobage and utter lack of class in her work (unless "no class" counts as having class).
I'm in agreement. Women can be sexy. Women can post photos, but when ALL you are known for are your mammary glands, you've gone too far.
People say to us gals, "oh you are just jealous!"
However, that's not the case as Steve H. PhD. has successfully proven.
So far ALL of the disapproving female bloggers have great racks, but seem to possess the class gene which prevents them from whoring themselves out for traffic. Who knew?
Go check it out, and yes you pervs, there is graphic proof.
You're welcome.
Posted by Moxie at 5:28 PM | Comments (5)
September 11, 2006
Pictures from Cathy Seipp's roast 09-10-06
Commentary to follow. For now just a handful of the hundred or so pictures I took yesterday afternoon at the Hotel Figueroa in downtown Los Angeles where we enjoyed a roast of Miss Cathy Seipp:
Maia, Cathy's daughter
Andrew Breitbart and Jill Stewart
Cathy's Dad!
More Cathy
Leah and Emmanuelle
Steve Smith and his pal Luke Ford
Cathy, with feet upon a pillow and tissue in hand!
Posted by Moxie at 2:12 PM | Comments (16)
September 8, 2006
tits DO equal hits
Thank you all for participating in my experiment. As you well know, every dang thing I do on this blog is for science. And science alone.
Traffic was up, way up. Even more so than when I post regular mammary-deficient posts. Granted, Glenn Reynolds didn't see fit to link to Tits4Hits and her analysis of the New York Times but it could be because Tits4Hits isn't a pajamateer.
Next experiment will be to find how an abrasive Lawn Guy Land accent boosts podcast traffic.
Anyway, I'm more than a little miffed about the liberal "outrage" surrounding ABC's Path to 9/11 miniseries. Anyone who is sane knows Slick Willy didn't take out OBL when he could and the whole 9/11 tragedy wasn't planned, hatched and orchestrated during GWB's term.
Is that so shocking? Can we no longer distribute facts?
It's an odd thing coming from ABC, a network not known to be any more fair than CBS or NBC or CNN. However, I feel obligated to mention, on a local level our Los Angeles ABC newscasters are not openly masturbating liberals. I quite like them.
And it's no secret -- I enjoy seeing liberals cry -- the Clinton zoo crew's reaction reminded me of a Howard Dean freak out and was more fun than a barrel of feminists trying to figure out how to use a razor. And even then, it's a close second to making a spotted owl omelet for breakfast.
Correct me if I'm wrong but Sandy Berger stole some classified documents, which flew into his pants and socks BEFORE the 9/11 commission got to them. And now he is openly upset about this mini-series? His socks are speaking to me, guilt, cover-up, shame. Good. It's about time.
I think now I can write my own mini-series, based on this mini-series and sell it to Fox.
If ABC pulls or edits the Path to 9/11 (which I have my DVR scheduled to tape), they are too spineless by half.
Posted by Moxie at 12:49 AM | Comments (8)
September 7, 2006
Jugs unplugged
Since it's tits for hits sweeps week, I thought I'd share this great find.
She sounds sort of New Yawk-ish. Hmmmmmmmm.
You gotta love YouTube.
Posted by Moxie at 2:31 AM | Comments (13)
September 6, 2006
Project Runway
Tonight's challenge was to create a couture gown. In only 2 days.
My favorite part was the workroom sign shown several times stating, "CAUTION: Fleurchamps making in progress". Obviously Jeffrey's illiterate attempt to make fun of the recently departed Angela and her over-loved fleurchons.
Anyway, let's cut to the chase, shall we?
Kayne did not disappoint, he used extra tacky trailerpark and accessorized with gaudy. It was a cheap prom dress, not couture.
Uli's dress looked like a spiced up version of an earlier competition's dress. But it was pretty and not auf'able.
Laura one of my favorites, created a dress that could double as a Shakespearean costume. For a man. She's ultra talented, but not showing any range at all this week, besides her tired Ann Taylor side. Michael Kors commented, with a shorter skirt and a feather duster, it could be a French maid costume. Poor Laura -- she's pregnant, exhausted and all that is showing along with her baby belly.
I sure liked Michael's dress a lot better than the judges did. Especially that luscious color and elegant cut in the skirt. His model got egged in Paris, and back in NYC the judges could tell her swag looked like it had been through the wringer.
Jeffrey's dress, (85% hand sewed, let's all kiss his neck tattoo now, shall we?) was a deconstructed Holly Hobby whore costume. Somehow everyone liked it and he won his second competition in a row.
That said, I'd still like to have his dress, it would make a great cover for a picnic table.
Vincent. Oh Vincent. We love him but not his clothes. And the judges had the same idea. He's history.
Next week it seems Laura has a breakdown (who can blame her, she's surrounded by freaks like Jeffrey and his giraffe neck). And from what was said in the preview, they are designing for two special guests. The Olsen twins? Bleech.
Okay, carry on.
Posted by Moxie at 8:02 PM | Comments (8)
My thoughts on lots of things
- TomKat's mini-me is certainly cute. But what is up with that goth hairdo?
Young Suri will have her nose, lip and tongue pierced by the age of three -- though her body scarring has already begun in the brain -- thanks to having a moron for a father.
Hopefully she already has the baby-goth prerequisite "meat is murder" onesie. By the age of 4 she will be jumping on Oprah's couch talking about her heroin addiction.
- Katie Couric is awful. While watching her I got paper cuts on my eyeballs. Then I decided to NOT watch and just listen.
She simply doesn't have a newscaster's voice. It was all too Romper Room or something for my tastes. Maybe in the Romper Room tradition her sign-off can be, "In my magic mirror, I see Hillary and Bill and Pelosi and Kerry...."
She'd be a great teacher with her gentle and only slightly feminine voice explaining to the children about those dirty Republicans. I guess that's what she's doing already. Never mind.
- Steve Irwin. I always figured he'd die of something really mundane, like having to watch Katie Couric be perky on the CBS evening news. He had amazing luck, and I am one of those people who believes some people are charmed in life, he was one of them until he met a stingray. You all know stingrays are not usually dangerous to human life, blah blah blah. Who would have thunk it?
I really will miss his larger than life enthusiasm. Hopefully his wife and young children will be okay.
- Project Runway tomorrow! Who do you think will be auf'd? I suppose it depends on the challenge, but unless it's "design a tacky gown for a Parisian" I'm betting on Kayne's ouster. Vincent just might squeak by again.
- Anyone watching Big Brother All Stars? Didn't think so. It's been a long and boring season. However one of the floaters, Erika orchestrated the most exciting strategic move of the summer. And while that's not saying much, I have to admit that I'm anxious to see this play out.
I guess that's the end of my brain dump. Back to french kissing my gun collection and cuddling with Don Rumsfeld and his tender shoulder.
Posted by Moxie at 12:30 AM | Comments (13)
