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December 29, 2006
executions make me uncomfortable
As one Republican who doesn't believe in the death penalty, I'm cringing at all the talk and news about Saddam's imminent hanging.
Does he deserve to live? No.
But I don't believe it's okay for one human being to take the life of another.
Doesn't matter if the human is an innocent baby in utero or a despicable mass murderer with overgrown and unruly evil eyebrows. Perhaps at the very least, they will give him a brow wax, so he can meet his 72 virgins looking better dead than he did alive.
That said, a far greater punishment for anyone who commits crimes against humanity is to live in the prison system for the rest of their pathetic lives. Nothing says, "I've learned my lesson" better than taking it up the poop shoot from a big hairy man with a penile piercing who wants you to call him Daddy.
I guess what makes me most uncomfortable is that they will hang him. How grotesque. Whatever happened to genital electrocution? Or those all-male naked pyramids, shaming the man to death?
UPDATE: I hope conservatives will not act jovially about this. It is just punishment -- however celebrating is not appropriate.
Posted by Moxie at 9:54 PM | Comments (28)
ways to prevent erectile dysfunction
Steve has become a true warrior in the crusade against breast cancer, therefore I thought it would be fair and appropriate to write about my own scholarly endeavors.
I have found scientifically proven ways to prevent the limp biscuit, so listen up (I know most of my readers are male):
- Killing bugs, rats and other rodents for the woman of the house decreases your risk of limpitude by 16%
- Taking out the garbage without being asked, will decrease your risk of ED by 42%
- Remembering an anniversary decreases your droopy risk by a whopping 97%
- Changing the cat's litter box AND not complaining about the cats, 89%
- Shutting up once in a while 10%
- Asking for directions while lost, 5%
- Not talking about work all the time, nor complaining about Bob in accounting -- 67% less risk of ED.
- And by not pointing out that she does look fat in those pants and loving her anyway, your risk goes down by another 83%
If I weren't in a hurry, there are tons more to add to the list. If you are nice, I'll add on later this afternoon.
Posted by Moxie at 2:08 PM | Comments (12)
December 23, 2006
have you ever...
...read an old post you wrote, wondered what you were on and wished you had some right now?
Posted by Moxie at 3:01 PM | Comments (6)
Christmas message
Let me tell you how spoiled we are, because I just experienced a 13 hour reminder.
We had some fierce winds here in Los Angeles all day Friday. Of course local news reported calm, 8mph winds, but what was occurring was more along the lines of an 18-wheeler moving at 50 mph. Windows wouldn't stay closed and on my terrace all my very established, years-old plants were uprooted. Heavy rocking chairs were overturned and my lovingly trained potato vine and privacy trellis is no more. Who knows where it ended up, but I sure hope they like it. I did.
All morning, there was little more to hear than sirens. I braved the winds to grab a few items at the corner store and noticed every red light was out. So it was obvious, a modern life was not in my future.
I returned to the Moxtopia compound, and counted down. 10,9,8,7,6,5 and sure enough the power went out around 1:40 something on Friday afternoon. We get our power from Los Angeles DWP and as far as a big energy company goes, they've been pretty good. Maybe not as good as a dick in a box, but close . During the 8 years I've lived in this neighborhood, the power failed maybe two or three times. For a few minutes up to a half hour, worst case.
Since it gets dark here around 4:30 (my vast right wing mansion is in the shadows of a section 8 building that blocks the sun), I took a quick nap figuring when I woke up, all would be well again. Not so.
Fortunately, I keep a good stock of candles, flashlights and a solar/handcrank radio in the pantry.
However anyone worth listening to was on vacation. As I paced around listening to idiots like Kenny Morse who made excuses for Saddam Hussein on KABC, and whined about Dick Cheney getting a raise, I wondered what it was like to watch Fox News, and dreamed of being able to see across the room thanks to that nifty thing called electricity. Most of all I yearned to talk to normal people. It was suddenly deafeningly silent.
While making shadow puppets with the flashlight to tease the cats, I realized how completely spoiled we are, with you know, electricity, the internet, refrigerators, microwaves and cable news.
So the power is back at last, but when I opened the refrigerator, it was warmer than Michael Moore's underpants. Now I have the great fun of waking up in a few hours when my LBP arrives to clean the house, and ask beg her to throw away every last holiday item in my refrigerator. If I don't force her, she'll end up taking the rancid food home, get sick and sue me over something I told her to discard, in English and Spanish.
Joy to the world.
Merry Christmas!
Posted by Moxie at 3:05 AM | Comments (12)
December 21, 2006
I'm now MT 3.3
I would like to thank the wonderful Evariste from Discarded Lies for upgrading my MT installation. We're still going to do a few more tweaks and such, and by "we" I mean Evariste.
What a super star!
Posted by Moxie at 10:04 PM | Comments (15)
December 20, 2006
sandy pants
Don't you miss reading about documents flying into Sandy Berger's pants and socks?
I sure do.
Turns out Clinton administration national security adviser, Sandy Berger was fined $50,000, ordered to perform 100 hours of community service and was barred from access to classified material for three years. I know people who receive harsher punishments for overdue parking tickets.
It has been revealed, Berger placed the docs under a trailer outside the National Archives, even though he claimed he inadvertently threw them in the trash, at first.
Yeah, it's an easy joke but I'm going to make it anyway, "Trailer trash".
SO there.
Posted by Moxie at 4:03 PM | Comments (6)
Ask Moxie
I'll have a Moonbat Christmas without you
My mother-in-law is a diehard Moonbat, and my wife basically relies on her mom for all of her opinions on important political issues.
During her stays, she likes to keep up with the news
-- and from what I have observed, anything that gets reported on network news is gospel in her mind. That wouldn't be so bad, except she goes off on a running commentary during the entire program. She hates Bush. She really, really hates Rumsfeld. She blames Ronald Reagan for all of her family's woes.
Every Republican is either brilliant-but-evil (Nixon) or just incredibly stupid (everyone but Nixon). I get it. I got it a long time ago. It sickens me to have to listen to her every time she goes off on one of her tirades.
And believe me, I DO have to put up with it, because getting into an argument will only end badly, and damage my relations not only with my in-laws but also with my wife and possibly my kids. So I remain silent.
As long as she doesn't gloat about last month's elections, I think I can find a means of remaining patient. How can I "shut out" the noise emanating from my mother-in-law's mouth when she's taking up space in my house? Do I get up and walk out? Do I try to pick a fight with her? Or should I just silently seethe as I've done on her previous visits?
Just because your mother-in-law is a moonbat doesn’t mean you have to do things differently during the holidays. Pull out your extra Halliburton stock certificates for cocktail napkins, take her outside to throw rocks at homeless intellectuals, club a few baby seals and pray to St. Ronald Reagan.
As for the noise coming from your MIL’s mouth, there have been many technological breakthroughs in silencing techniques this year. Aside from duct tape and a dirty rag, you can always point out the obvious – the only way the libtards could take the house & senate was to run a bunch of Republicans in Democrat’s clothing.
{for RSS folks -- continued in extended entry}
This freshman crop is largely pro-life, pro-gun, pro-christianity. In fact, many of them look like better Republicans than some actual Republicans. Of course the big difference is that they think the government can spend our money better than we can.
Serve your MIL some eggnog and then pull out a calculator and have fun with mathematics. Calculate how much of her income she will lose to these wonderful Democrats in the next two years. Then, take her outside to see the homeless again, point to the 40 ounce in a paper bag and tell her that’s where her money will be going.
Waterboarding is reportedly another good way to encourage people to come around to your point of view. Just be sure to conduct it in a large enough tub as these liberals can be stubborn. Water damage is not only pricey to repair but can decrease the value of your home.
All that said, an old axiom teaches us to never talk about religion and politics during social or family gatherings. If she can’t abide by the house rules, by all means, walk out. Head directly to the range for some target practice while she feeds her brain with the nonsense of Keith Olbermann and Jon Stewart. You are what you eat.
Posted by Moxie at 2:52 PM | Comments (9)
December 18, 2006
the Grande Conservative Blogress Diva
Posted by Moxie at 10:32 PM | Comments (4)
danny bonaduce out of the closet
One of my guilty pleasures is watching Breaking Bonaduce on VH1, however I'm pleased to announce it's no longer necessary to feel overly guilty.
Via the Conservative Grapevine, I found this little gem:
(If you are at work, there is foul language most of which is bleeped out)
Posted by Moxie at 2:51 PM | Comments (18)
December 14, 2006
my visit to leftyland
I don't know why I do this to myself, but I went over to the cesspool known as the Democratic Underground to see what the lefties are saying about Sen. Tim Johnson.
Here is a highlight (I'm not linking it, but it's easy enough to find):
178. I don't blame anyone for worrying about Senate control over his personal well-being Control of the Senate is worth much more than any one life at this point in time. It could mean a great deal in terms of the environment, which is worth a great deal more.However, I'm quite sure he'll be fine and unless he dies or resigns the Senate remains Dem.
And there are more! You kids can go play over there, let me know if you find any other notable comments. Should be a gold rush.
Posted by Moxie at 8:28 AM | Comments (4)
December 13, 2006
tired of lemonade
Tonight, I made a little light diffusing box as described on Strobist and it's pretty nifty.
Using nothing but desk lamps I got some really nice light. And while I did have an old box and white tissue paper, I didn't have white poster board around for the backdrop. Plain old printer paper was a decent stand-in.
Tomorrow I'm going to visit the art store and buy some white poster board as well as some patterned and reflective papers to experiment with over the holiday.
Though I am using superior equipment and lenses, the crispness of the image is not up to my standards. So perhaps in addition to the digital video camera I plan to buy, I'll treat myself to a macro lens for my combination b-day/Xmas gift.
The biggest problem tonight was that Phoebe decided to climb on the box and crashed through the tissue paper I had painstakingly cut and taped on the open top.
Curiosity may not kill the cat, but I might.
Posted by Moxie at 11:28 PM | Comments (6)
when life hands you...
Have you ever seen one of these and wonder who would buy that?
Well now you know.
(yes, that is my crappy snapshot, had the wrong lens and was too lazy to change it.)
Posted by Moxie at 6:15 AM | Comments (10)
December 12, 2006
holiday left/right relations
Anyone have questions about how to deal with the office tree-hugger at a holiday party, crying over wrapping paper and wasted food? Or your lovely girlfriend who owns a gun but shuns abortion? How about your mother-in-law who has a photo of Cindy Sheehan on her refrigerator and you have to spend five days at her house, while on leave from Iraq?
I asked this question a while back, but only got a few questions which were all primarily the same. Before I answer, it would be great to have 2-3 different questions to work with, so this part is up to you.
No comments on this post -- if you have an issue you'd like me to address please email me. Moxie {at} moxie dot nu.
All emails on this topic are confidential, your name and email will not be shared.
Posted by Moxie at 8:43 PM
December 7, 2006
good morning...
...or good afternoon to you "early bird" types. I hear on the east coast, they think they're so much better than us that they start the damn morning 3 hours earlier than us west coast sloths. In order to align myself with the east, I got up hours ago only to take this snapshot, as the leaves are finally starting to change color.
It was 47 degrees out, and I could almost see my breath. Later today it is expected to hit 81, so I'll be at the pool if someone will pry me out of the compound. But you can leave me a message.
So now what? I'm glad you asked, you should go on over to vote in Steve H's blog awards. He is too modest to mention it, but he has spent months slaving over this contest, which can only benefit you, the blog world.
Vote for Steve early and often.
Posted by Moxie at 7:31 AM | Comments (5)
poop on a plane
In America, we put our kids in daycare, but we take our dogs to school, work, the nail salon and the restaurant like a handbag?
I saw this over at Althouse (don't call her Ann, or she gets very, very angry) and commented. But I think it needs a post here. This is what I said:
"Why do cat people get a bad name when dog people are far worse?
I can do everyday tasks without carrying my pet with me.
Even though ONLY when required, he is happy to ride in the car, has flown on a plane, or been on a bus, it's always WEIRD on the rare occasion I have my quiet pet with me in public.
But a big slobbering dog at school or work? No problem poochie, here is our tasting menu for you!"
My pet, being a cat of course.
Los Angeles is no different from NYC in this respect, dogs are allowed everywhere and sometimes where certain people aren't.
But this thing reminded me of a holiday about seven years ago, when I only had Bentley (Phoebe and Puff Tatty were but a twinkle in their daddy cat's eyes at that point) and no one was around to watch him. He had already flown in the cabin on a plane with me many times. It used to cost 50 bucks each way, cheaper than a paid cat sitter over a long holiday.
In the terminal, Bentley sat on my lap, belly up. Kids came over to kiss and hug him and play with his paws. Bentley was loving all the attention. Suddenly, I was grabbed by an agent at the gate. An angry woman sat crying nearby, glaring at me.
The agent pointed at the crazy lady and said, "she refuses to fly because of your cat."
I asked why, and it had something to do with her allegedly being 2 weeks pregnant and afraid of cat feces.
At that point I knew Bentley's drill. He slept the whole way, meowed softly at take off, got a snack and few licks of water mid-flight and only on one occasion did he push his way out of the Sherpa bag (airline approved) and run down the aisle after me when I left him for a minute to stretch my legs.
But he never pooped on a plane. Not ONCE. How many people can say that same thing? And say it honestly?
Sure, he would pee the second he got inside my Dad's 7 series BMW, but not even then did he poop. Cats are fastidious about keeping clean, urine in Dad's car being the exception. But after a five hour flight, it was always an act of desperation.
Obviously, the airline agent offered me a free flight if I would change my plans and let this woman fly without being terrorized by my Birman who was still out of his case, sitting on the filthy airport carpet playing with the toys gently dragged by little children I didn't know.
It's important to note that while playing on the floor of LAX Bentley did not poop in an inappropriate place (unlike some liberals when GWB was re-elected in 2004). Nor did he pull out a Koran, shave his body and chant Allah on a praying rug.
I pointed to a dog nearby, so small my cat could kick its ass and asked if the lady was afraid of dog poop too.
This wasn't funny to the airline gate attendant and since she failed the humor test I told her, no, I would not be willing to change my plans.
Those afraid of non-existent cat poop would have to miss Xmas with their family. But I was going out on a risky limb and would be willing to board a plane with a feline-o-phobe.
Later, as Bentley and I sat in first class, the sobbing woman walked past and scowled, clutching that toy sized dog in a Fendi handbag. The timing was perfect, as a flight attendant was pouring my champagne at that very moment.
I don't know what she ate or drank back in coach but as far as I can tell the canine supremacist survived the flight.
Posted by Moxie at 12:45 AM | Comments (14)
December 6, 2006
James Kim 1971-2006
He didn't make it. My heart aches for his wife and little girls.
If you are religious please keep the family in your prayers.
And if you are traveling on the road with loved ones this holiday season, please be safe.
UPDATE: Understandably, the Kim family has asked that it not be contacted, and that flowers and donations not be sent at this time. Once the family has decided how they want Kim to be honored, CNET will release details.
Posted by Moxie at 4:05 PM | Comments (6)
December 5, 2006
i moxie am not getting married until every marriage works
While I obviously love the retro appeal of a traditional marriage, and used to think it would be a part of my life -- what I do not understand is why same-sex couples would WANT to participate in that type of ritual.
Marriage is a big ticket purchase which ends mostly with buyer's remorse. In fact, my compound statistician says marriage has a success rate only slightly higher than one's chances of winning a large payout in the state lottery.
Back when I had my gay houseboy (he's since moved eastward), he'd point out how lucky gay couples are, because they don't have the pressure to get married. And on the flip side, didn't have to deal with the stupid legal battles once officially recorded love went sour. I tended to agree with him, which should come as no surprise.
Now, some folks who'd like to see same-sex couples have the same problems as male-female duos, are POSTPONING their own weddings.
Somehow I missed this December 3rd article in the NYT (mostly, because I tend to avoid it entirely, reading about how evil and bad my President is gets tedious).
Whether it makes sense or not, some heterosexual couples, mostly in their in 20s and 30s, are protesting the inability of gay and lesbian couples to marry by putting off their own marriage. Unless wedded bliss is available to everyone, in every state, they say, they want no part of it.
One has to question their motives, as many of the couples named in the article are FAR too young to be getting married in the first place.
It sounds like a really PC reason not to do what their Baby Boomer parents think is the right thing -- bbbbut we're doing it for the gay folks, aren't we righteous and PC!
And besides that, since most marriages don't make it, isn't this kind of sadistic?
Wanting EVERYONE to have the opportunity for huge legal bills, crippling spousal support payments and family shame of a failed life venture, is like crying out, "It's not fair that only suspected terrorists at Guantanamo have to form naked pyramids! We should all have that opportunity!"
Here's something to make my dear Mom and Dad feel better, "I'm not getting married until the long-term odds improve. Just as I wouldn't buy a crappy stock, I'm not going to invest myself in a situation that has little chance of success. And I don't wish this kind of pressure to enter a failing contract on anyone, especially not same-sex couples."
Posted by Moxie at 11:26 PM | Comments (12)
December 4, 2006
3 amazing facts
--> Did you know, you CAN get car sick while driving yourself? Yes, it happened to me while driving to Cathy's in rush hour traffic, the one-inch-forward-then-stop type of Los Angeles congestion. I felt a million times better after a lovely dinner and great company!
--> Seasonal Affective Disorder is real. I was diagnosed many, many years ago, and most days I find myself sleeping 16 or more hours. When awake, it's like watching a bad movie, instead of being an active participant in my life. I have a light box, but because I sleep through the alarm, I never wake up early enough to use it.
--> Assholes who comment that your fall light photo is meaningless might not be sane. The light here in LA is very different due to the positioning of the sun on this part of the planet. SoCal is hardly on the equator. Like anywhere else, you have reduced light, softer light and something about the season is tangibly darker.
PS: I'm heading to NYC for Xmas when my body says visiting extended family in Australia might be more ideal (it's summer there). I'm not posting this for sympathy, rather so that other people googling for SAD have a random anecdote. I'd like to talk more about this disabling disorder in the future, since most people don't know it exists.
Posted by Moxie at 2:24 AM | Comments (16)
December 2, 2006
in a land far away, and a long, long time ago
...I used to work for CNET under the iron fist of Halsey Minor -- though I don't remember a James Kim, nor his wife, who might have worked there around the same time I did...this young family and their children are missing.
So please read that article and if you were driving remote roads off Oregon's Highway 38 and Interstate 5, and saw a a 2005 silver Saab station wagon with California personalized plates of "DOESF", call the numbers listed.
My very few fondest memories of living in San Francisco have nothing to do with Nancy Pelosi's dog collars (big surprise), rather it was working under that roof with a few hundred other amazing and brilliant people.
The Kims were last seen on Saturday, November 25, in Portland, Oregon.
Posted by Moxie at 2:27 AM
December 1, 2006
reluctant posting
I really hate to post again and push my last post down the page. I've been enjoying the comments, it's beyond interesting to read about why men get married, when today there is little incentive to do so.
There are many that are surprisingly touching, and a few wise cracks as well. Hopefully, we'll get some additions before I have to close the comments thanks to those filthy spammers.
To pick a few favorites would be a disservice to you guys, if you haven't read the comments on this post, you need to do so immediately.
Honestly, I expected far more, "she insisted and since I was tired of playing the field, I relented" because I have to assume chasing tail must eventually become tiresome for those with a frank and beans. Instead I've learned that many men out there do have feelings, living in LA it's an easy fact to forget.
In contrast, Casca, over at Annika's made some snide comment about me, here let me grab it:
"There's nothing more alluring than a desperate woman with cats entering middleage."
Typo in the original.
To which I replied,
"Are you always so kind, or was this a special occasion?"
See the thing is, I'm not desperate, don't look my age and cats are great at keeping rodents out of the house. This being a city, there are loads of rats in my neighborhood, and many of them are human males parading around costumed as nice guys. A cat's affection never lies.
If you need proof as to how I am not desperate, I point only to the fact that I'm no longer willing to date liberals. 'nuff said?
Posted by Moxie at 12:45 AM | Comments (18)
