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June 28, 2007
lace panties on a pork chop
You really have to listen to the show to hear the context of that, and me nearly peeing my pants.
Many thanks to Steve, Tony and Kim for being great guests!
I still have to work on my sound issues, I got lazy and didn't buy a different headset.
Click the player to the right on my sidebar to listen.
Posted by Moxie at 7:12 PM | Comments (10)
June 27, 2007
MoxVox Thursday at 5 PM Pacific/8 PM Eastern
I hope you are sitting down. Not only because I have some shocking news but because it's plain old weird to read web sites while standing up.
Michael Moore (our favorite fatumentary maker) is losing weight.
The post is from Tony Pierce over at LAist and the excellent photo is taken by our friend Emmanuelle Richard. You have to see the picture to believe it.
A while back, I found it ironic that an obese slob was making a documentary about health care. You know -- you are fat because health care fails you -- not because you cram your maw with fattening food.
Now, this weight loss news. It looks like all five of Michael Moore's chins have moved in together. Socialists, sharing the same fold. They consolidated into one giant goiter. Good for him. And his former multiple chins. Bigger is better.
Thursday at 5 PM Pacific, 8 PM Eastern tune in to MoxVox on Blog Talk Radio.
Tony Pierce the head honcho at LAist.com will be with us. We're gonna talk about Sicko, Paris Hilton and Ann Coulter's appearance on Hardball with Chris Matthews.
Call in number is: (646) 652-2695
You can click here to listen: MoxVox
Posted by Moxie at 10:44 PM | Comments (1)
June 26, 2007
garden blogging 2007
I've come to a sad conclusion.
Not writing on my blog does not increase my overall productivity.
So instead, I proudly present half of my terrace, complete with an appearance of Puff Tatty's backside.
So let's talk tomatoes for a bit.
I planted these weeds back at the start of May. I've picked off no fewer than 30 hornworms. I stopped counting baby tomatoes after I hit 200. I water them a twice a day. So why is Steve having so much trouble?
He manages to be a pro at every other hobby he adopts.
Oh, I know -- someone and I won't say who -- suggested he plant some tomatoes in containers rather than in the ground.
If he needed to hang them upside down to feel fancy, so be it. I feel important even when my tomatoes are right-side up. But we all know where advice goes, in one ear and out the other. Steve planted them in the ground, in a raised bed he built from scratch. Now he is discovering the joys of container gardening without admitting someone suggested just that from the start!
Am I gloating? Not really. Even my own green thumb has its problems.
I have to find the right poison to take care of the hornworms. I'm thinking organic now that I am a mac owner. Also, my meyer lemon tree keeps wanting to die but then sprouting new leaves and blossoms. And I only have 5 bell peppers growing on one plant. Puff Tatty has developed a taste for eating the leaves and I'm afraid there isn't enough foliage to support more peppers.
It's rough around the Moxtopia Compound. But I'll survive.
Posted by Moxie at 5:49 PM | Comments (7)
June 21, 2007
missing BTR entry and show
Apologies to those who planned to listen to tonight's show via the archive, but I had to delete it as my sound problems made me sound like Cindy Brady after 40 shots of jagermeister.
I'm going to buy a new headset tomorrow. Steve is using a plantronics, so I may buy one of those. Any other suggestions welcome.
And thanks so much to Lair, Steve, Damian, Mike and Lewis.
I'll try to schedule a short test show on Sunday to test out the new headset.
Posted by Moxie at 7:57 PM | Comments (5)
June 19, 2007
Dirty hippie chronicles: Day 2
Now that I have a working computer, I realized there are lots of purchases I'll need to make. C'est dommage.
Luckily, with what I will save by not buying anti-virus protection and avoiding the shower -- I can spend on trucker hats, vintage t-shirts and an artistic, tortured hipster attitude. Actually, the attitude was included free with my purchase of the hippiebook, along with a generous sample of hemp.
But I'll also need to find a way to pay for a few trips to Williamsburg, Brooklyn. If I'm going to be a modern day hippie, that means "hipster" and Williamsburg is the place, man.
Also, as a requirement for ownership of a hippiebook -- I'll have to have lots of sex with men whose names I don't know -- don't fret -- the inevitable condom malfunction and subsequent abortion costs will be on the taxpayer's dime.
Speaking of which, Maia (another macbook Conservative) and I saw "Knocked Up" last night in Los Feliz.
We navigated the streets, surrounded by men with greasy hair, soul patches and hair longer than hers and mine combined.
The movie was a conservative trip -- but don't read any further if you haven't seen it -- I'll mention some SPOILERS.
Are you with me? Good.
Maia was the perfect movie companion. Not only was she understanding and sympathic at the end of the movie when my decrepit bladder was about to burst, but she also knew about something walking into the theater. Something would make me scream and cover my eyes -- and never said a word!
But back to "Knocked Up" -- it was no 40 Year Old Virgin, but good in a different way.
Judd Apatow is a genius. He peppers his film with ribald humor and gets libtards to watch movies that exhibit conservative values.
Between the undeniable (but never explained) pro-life message -- it also sent some good "this is the result of random sex" with the screaming and vagina shots towards the end of the movie.
After leaving the theater, Maia said, "I'm not sure I ever want to have children." Which is a great, "don't have sex" message to the younger set. I've always had the notion that condoms should be sold in the same aisle as diapers, baby formula and pregnancy tests.
A subconscious, "use these every time and use them wisely" kind of thing.
So not only did our female lead not abort, but the dorky/loser guy responsible for the child bucked up, took responsibility and ended up being a likable and believable father character.
Why don't more people make movies like this?
I'll be back soon, time to apply for my entitlements.
Posted by Moxie at 1:25 PM | Comments (12)
June 18, 2007
i'm ashamed and suddenly very hairy
SCROLL DOWN FOR UPDATES!
I never thought I'd be writing this entry.
After what happened today, I have lost friends, made friends and suddenly developed a taste for free range patchouli smoothies.
That's right, I caved and bought a macbook. The fruit of the dirty hippie.
Here's how it went down -- all my computers have decided they are liberals and don't want to work any longer -- but I have work to do and a small budget, thanks to a missing check from a photojob I completed nearly SIX months ago.
So I talked to ErikZ about how I can best spend a limited amount of dough, run photoshop, handle large photography files and avoid paying 2k for a laptop that will arrive borked with Windows Vista, and mostly likely end up as a bookend in 2 years.
The answer he gave is a macbook, my friends. How could that be? Macs are more expensive than PC's! So I was up into the wee hours of the morning comparing things PC based and these dirty hippiebooks. Erik was right.
The next morning, I spent another 4 hours looking at every laptop under the sun. I was determined to avoid drinking the kool aid.
Erik told me, "hey you can download bootcamp and run Windows XP!" And that sold me. How better to piss off the unwashed left than take their icon and run Windows on it, right? That's like buying a Prius and covering it with pro-life stickers and Fred Thompson in '08 paraphernalia.
Okay, I could handle that.
Yesterday, I went to the Apple store and it was a madhouse. I stuck out like a born-again Christian at a Hillary Clinton rally.
Though the store is two stories tall, the BO was unavoidable. Hipsters were strutting around with their greasy hair stink and trust funds.
I must have looked panicked (which I was) and I told an unwashed hipster who works as a "mac genius" what I wanted to buy. He came back in 3 minutes with the box. Scanned my card and I was out of there in 7 minutes flat. He asked, "do you want a bag," but I was already sprinting for the door.
So back at the Moxtopia compound, shrouded in shame, I turned on the macbook and in 2 minutes it was ready to go. No fussing with the wifi like I did with my Dad's Dell running that marvel of technology, Windows Vista. Which, for the record never could pick up my wireless network.
After playing with the mac OS, curbing my disgust with what I had purchased -- a funny thing happened. I no longer saw a reason to install bootcamp and windows xp.
Trying to make something/anything go wrong I spotted 2 of my digital cameras. Surely if I plug them in, I would have to install drivers and crap. Nope, the hippiebook started downloading my photos. Same with my external hard drive and printers. Damn.
I really wanted to hate this, but I'm afraid I can't. And blame it all on Bill Gates and Windows Vista.
At least now I can camouflage my conservative self while working outside the house.
More soon, I'm off to look at a Prius.
(thanks to Aaron for the image)
MORE:
From ErikZ
From The Ugly American
Posted by Moxie at 3:02 AM | Comments (26)
June 14, 2007
Listen up, if you were tuned out
On today's show, Steve H. my co-host and I had superstar screenwriter, producer and director Dale Launer talking about hybrid cars, digital filmmaking, getting your script read, Tom's Nu Heaven and Phil Spector!
Dale was also kind enough to talk about how some of his scripts came to be. Fascinating stuff -- one of my best shows yet.
And mark your calendars for next Thursday! Guest to be announced. And if you aren't on my mailing list -- join now!
Posted by Moxie at 6:59 PM | Comments (5)
June 12, 2007
Moxvox -- with special guest Dale Launer
Just a quick note -- this Thursday my very special guest will be Dale Launer, screenwriter and producer of widely acclaimed films -- surely you have seen or heard of My Cousin Vinny, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, and Ruthless People?!
We're not settled on the topics yet. But we will certainly talk about writing, current events, his new film Tom's Nu Heaven and maybe even some politics!
Mark your calendars for Thursday 5 PM Pacific, 8 PM Eastern and tune in here.
Posted by Moxie at 6:03 PM | Comments (5)
June 11, 2007
don't mess with the paw
It's a good thing that I love to photograph Phoebe, the rest of the time I want to kill her!
And Bentley, working hard at relaxing in the warm California sun.
Posted by Moxie at 5:43 PM | Comments (2)
the secret life of the soul patch kids
Moments ago, via the joy also known as an instant message, I chatted with Ned Rice's Baby...
NedRicesBaby: I got an email from Surnow's soul patch.
NedRicesBaby: It said, "I know I look like Lucy Liu's bush but trust me on this..."
Moxie: Surnow's soul patch has its own Blackberry.
NedRicesBaby: Surnow's soul patch made Chuck Norris its girlfriend.
Moxie: Surnow's soul patch terrorized Christopher Walken. He eventually filed a restraining order.
NedRicesBaby: Turns out Lucy Liu has no bush.
Moxie: Surnow's soul patch wrote the season finale of 24.
NedRicesBaby: Surnow's soul patch smokes Viagra with Rush Limbaugh.
Moxie: Little known fact: the TV series 24 is not named after the number of hours in a day, rather it comes from the number of hairs in Surnow's soul patch.
Making oneself laugh is embarrassing -- in that admitting to masturbation way.
Posted by Moxie at 3:42 PM | Comments (6)
better their money rest in my pocket
Apropos of our conversation on Blog Talk Radio about unlikely advertisers -- if you didn't listen, just look at my google ads -- I saw something hilarious while watching Fox News this weekend.
I had to skip back on my DVR to make sure I wasn't hallucinating, after all, I did more than a few "shock and aww yeah" shots from Dick Cheney's chest the night before. But it was real.
MSNBC is advertising on Fox News, offering "a fuller spectrum of libtards news".
I'm not sure what that is supposed to mean, but generally when people buy advertising it is because they feel the place they advertise will reach more people than they can. In that respect, this is MSNBC conceeding defeat.
People say that liberals are glued to Fox News so they can keep tabs on "the enemy" but I think it's because they admire the way conservatives roll. So perhaps their advertising choice has some merit, like a sheep dog rounding up the sheep. "Hey liberals -- you need to come back over here."
But otherwise, I'm pretty sure MSNBC misses the mark, and the commercial falls on deaf ears.
And personally, I enjoy the knowledge that MSNBC's money is landing in Murdoch's pocket.
Hopefully he will put it to good use and allow The Soul Patch Kids from The 1/2 Hour News Hour to hire some writers who can do the funny.
Posted by Moxie at 3:06 PM | Comments (3)
June 7, 2007
Chatter from the Moxtopia Compound
Don't forget, my Blog Talk Radio show starts at 5 PM Pacific, 8 PM Eastern. I will be boobcasting, wearing only a mashed potato bikini. All this in order to complete some "do tits equal hits" research.
Steve H. Graham will be there, and possibly Damian G from Conservathink.
We'll be talking about the Los Angeles shower ban, Laurie David, Paris Hilton getting sprung from the pokey and other topics chosen at random.
Click here to listen. The call-in number is (646) 652-2695.
Posted by Moxie at 4:23 PM | Comments (5)
June 6, 2007
a wonderful new excuse...
for dirty hippies.
That's right, as if they needed an excuse not to bathe, Los Angeles County is now backing up the lefties and suggesting they cut back on showering.
How do you "cut back" on "never"?
Tonight, at 9:30PM Eastern, I'll be a squeaky-clean sidekick on Steve H. Graham's Blog Talk Radio show.
And mark your calendars, because my Thursday Boobcast will proceed tomorrow (Thursday, duh) at 5 PM Pacific, 8 PM Eastern.
Posted by Moxie at 5:21 PM | Comments (5)
